Update: The stitches are healing fine. I guess. They itch. But they haven't popped open or torn or anything that fall into the realm of uh-oh.
This year for Thanksgiving, Mama Bird and I are traveling to New Harmony, Indiana. As someone from FailBlog put it, it's about as close to not being in Indiana as you can get, and still be in Indiana. It's right on the boarder near the southern end.