Saturday, December 29, 2007

Trains and Toasters

I have survived the Christmas of '07. The Christmas part wasn't so bad. The train ride home from New Mexico was. I know, I know. I have previously extolled the virtues of travel by train. I had not had this experience yet to give a true frame of refference.
First, I am the first person at that stop to get on that car. That car came from L. A., so there are people on it already. The attendant tells me to go sit in seat 6. I go to seat 6 and see that there is someone in seat 5 (the window seat). This someone starts awake, looks at me and says "Oh, No".
Second, there are roughly 10 sets of empty double seats from 2pm (when I got on) untill 7:30 am the next morning. I would have gladly moved at 7am to let a family sit together. But no. I had to sit next to the crabby old lady*.
Third, the train ran out of Heineken by around 8ish that night. And then the next day the dining car ran out of food. And by 3ish pm (day two) the entire train ran out of beer of any sort.
Fourth, the train was supposed to have arrived in Chi-town by 3-something pm of day two. But, alas, at around 2ish they get on the PA and tell us that we will be stopped for a bit because there is a freight train derailed aahead of us. This must be what caused the run on beer. Then we sat around for two hours waiting for busses to come get us to take us into Chi-town. We were already running late and were two hours away from our destination.
I was never so happy to get home as I was yesterday.

* That crabby old lady had had a REALLY bad time of it before I even got there. She was on an earlier train that was delayed NINE HOURS because someone decided that stepping in front a train was the answer to their problems. The train was going 85 mph. This next part is gross so I'm giving you warning to skip it if you wish..... because of the speed of the train, there were parts for a mile or two, and the nine hours gave them time to check the gears and moving parts of the train itself for bits of the person.
Ok, grossness done now.
I did check the interweb for info on the derailment and found out that it had happened at 6 freaking am. They could have re-routed us!!!! Granted the wreck took out power to the area, but come on, they had how many hours to figure out what to do? They could have had the damn busses waiting for us and then no one would have missed a connecting train.

Other wise my vacation was great. I relaxed. Cooked, hiked, and got to see some friends that live out there. I also met some very cool people on that train, so it wasn't ALL bad.
My folks seemed to like there gifts, and I love the ones I got from them. Mom got me another pair of glasses (think of glasses as an accessory, it's nice to have choices), and my step-father got me this really cool felt square bowl. And, when I arrived home there was a birthday gift waiting for me from Mom. I was told to go ahead and open it even though the birthday is early next week. She gave me a toaster. That is ORANGE!!!!!!!! Now I have to figure out where to put it in my minecule kitchen.

Little Bird is back in the nest.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tired, oh so tired.

I have been busy these past few weeks. I mean running around, and sleeping like a rock tired.
First, I left my cell phone in a cab. I thought I had left it at home, so when the (slightly creepy) cabbie asked if I wanted him to call it (to hear it ring if it was in the cab) I said no. Lesson learned? Answer that question with a yes. I called my phone when I got home and the cabbie answered. He said he would call me back in half an hour when he got done with a fare. He then turned my phone off and never called or showed up. I got a new phone the next day. Then new one has a camera. So pictures will be forthcoming. Eventually.
Second, the bar had a phenomenal Saturday night. Two birthday parties AND a post wedding reseption party came in. From 10pm untill 3am we were packed. I had to go tell people they had to leave. At closing that is. We had to kick out no less than five drunks during the course of the night. It had been absolutly dead untill 10, maybe six people over the course of four hours. So at least we were rested when they all came pouring in. I slept well when I got home.
Third, I got the presents for my fathers side of the family MOSTLY done. All I need is ribbon, and to finish my grandfathers gift. My aunts and uncles are all getting pretty much the same thing. There is a difference, I just can't say what. I got my cousin and his wife the same thing I got his parents, again with a difference. I know some of them read this, so I can't say just what it is. But it feels awsome to have as much done as I do.
My step-fathers gifts are soooo much easier. Black. Last year I got him black toilet paper. Among other stuff. This year it's black ear swabs (think q-tips), black handkerchiefs, a black shower pouf, and black licorice. Next year is gonna be difficult. I may have exhausted the range of novelty black items. Hats, socks, gloves, and other such items are not really an option, he has expensive taste. Maybe black PJs.
Now I just have to finish my mom's gift, and get something for Ginger, and my bff in St. Louis and her husband. Ideas? Anyone?

--Little Bird is prepared for once.

Friday, November 9, 2007


This has been a realtively slow week or two. The Guy gave me a full and formal appology. So now he can come into the bar without feeling all uncomfortable, and he can come in without my wanting to kill him. It was kinda an odd situation.
I am currently getting ready to go to work, and am at a loss as to what to wear. I mean it's pretty cold here now. As in it got down to 27 degrees the other night. Brrrrr! But it can get pretty stuffy inside the bar. So you see, a dilemma. I had yesterday off so today I don't feel like doing much of anything. I could probably sleep for a week. Ah, such is life.
Any way, what are you doing? Are any of you out there in internet-land doing anything of interest?? Yes, I know, there are only about four of you who read this, but humor me.

---Little Bird is work.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Anger and Betrayal

Those big contented smiles from last post? Gone. So far gone it's almost funny.
I walked into another bar last night, after I got off work. I saw The Guy. Talking to another girl. That in and of itself is not so bad, it was a bar after all. The fact that she asked me (while he was in the bathroom) about him (like she wanted to date him)? That kinda bugged me so I let it be known that I was "dating" him. And then when when I went to the bathroom 2 beers later I come back to them kissing. That pissed me off. I had asked TG if he would order a beer for me before I left for the bathroom and left $5 for it. I asked him when I got back to where they were sitting if he had ordered the drink yet. He said no so I responded with a "don't bother then". I went out side to call up a cab and couldn't get a hold of the cabbie I know. So I had to go back in and they were STILL KISSING. I walked over to another side of the bar and asked the bartender for a beer and to turn on the taxi light. I stood by the door and drank my beer waiting for the taxi not 10 feet from the "happy couple" while they played tonsil hockey at the end of the bar.
I was a weepy mess in the cab on the way home, and the cab driver was really nice. At least he told me what any one would tell a crying girl who just went through what I did.
The only good thing about tonight is I get to dress up in costume and abuse drunk people. In a nice way. It's the bar's costume party tonight. Anyone who shows up sans costume must wear a crown from Burger King circa Backstreet Boys or the crown with the Telletubbies. Ok, so maybe an evil grin.

--Little Bird trying for calm

Friday, October 19, 2007

Big contented smiles

It's official. I do NOT need the bricks. He knows. Boy, does he know. We have a third date planned, the Roller Derby. And I like this man. We have... not a LOT in common, but we are both fonts of useless inormation. This is good, we can play Trivial Persuit together (I happen to like the game). I bet he's better at spelling than I am though. And we never want for a conversation topic. That and I think he's an attractive man. He makes me feel ... safe, and .... important in some way. Like he cares what I think on any given topic. It's nice to feel wanted.
Work is going well, I can't complain. Not that anyone would listen if I HAD a complaint. My boss/co-worker/best friend bought me a new T-shirt to wear at the bar, a Sailor Jerry Rum logo-T. It is nice. It is most definitely something I would wear. And will wear tomarrow.
There really isn't all that much to report, other than the fact that I'M DATING!!!!! It's been a while. I hope he understands that I may have forgotten how some of it goes. Excuse me whilst I gush a little bit more, but when he comes in to the bar I can feel myself light up. When he leaves, I walk him out and he kisses me goodnight. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I kinda want to tell him the brick story just to see what his reaction is though.

---Little Bird is on cloud nine

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

In need of a brick

So, my moms birthday is coming up. I am cooking dinner for her. And buying wine. Her favorite dish is Bolognese, so that's what we're having. I refuse to buy her favorite wine. Her favorite is nasty. I'll get her one that WE ALL like. To make up for not getting her favorite, I'll buy two bottles. Maybe three.

Work has been good. That's really all that can be said about that. Except maybe my ability to get in a good slam has improved. Especialy since I 've taken to delivering these slams in a near deadpan. It's been kinda fun like that. And yes, these are the customers who are on the recieving end of this abuse. Before you get up in arms about this, they love it. If they didn't they wouldn't keep coming back. Two and three times a week. One of them, in a joking manner asked my boss (Ginger) if she knew how many times I had insulted him- just that night. Her response was that was what they paid me for. He started laughing. He's been back a few times since then.

I also have a fun debate going over myspace with a family member. Oddly enough we kinda sorta agree. Sorta. I believe at this point it's a matter of syntax. Or deffintions.

And I need that brick. I just don't know if he would know what it meant. Maybe I should write the web address to this site with the directions to go into the archives to look up that post. Or maybe just the url for that post. Hmmm... that's not such a bad idea.

---Little Bird is on a roll

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The Borings, I Have It

Hello there. What? The title? I have spent waaaayyyyy too long at looking at funny pictures. Yeah, we know, I'm a dork. This much has been known for awhile.
I got my parents their anniversary (spelling is bad, I know) present. A little late. But, nontheless I gave them something that they will use for a year. A membership to a museum. I think they like it, they're very art savvy.
I have no other news. None. There is nothing going on right now. Pleh.
I am however looking forward to the upcoming holliday. If it can be called a holliday. Whatever, I don't care. I get to dress up. It's my favorite time of the year. The fall leaves, the fall smells. The hordes of people in costume, some good, most bad.
The bar is having a costume contest, for customers only. I don't get to compete, but I DO get to dress up so it's all good.
Just sitting around waiting for the 31st.

--Little Bird is .........waiting.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Hazards of LSD

I happen to live near a particulary dangerous stretch of Lake Shore Drive. As evidenced by tonights (this VERY early mornings) single car accident. It was an SUV. The people inside said SUV were fairly drunk. Or at least appeared to be (entering here the fact that there were SEVERAL broken Corona bottles and a cardboard Corona 12-pack container) drunk. One of the occupants of this vehicle was removed BY THE OTHER OCCUPANTS by her ankles!!!!!! Yes, I made sure that the police and the EMTs knew this. I have no idea how this accident came to be but the SUV was UPSIDEDOWN people. I heard the (prolonged) crash, ran to my living room, grabbed the binoculars that are there (for just that reason) and saw the underside of a large vehicle. I called 911, told 'em what I was seeing and ran outside to see if I could help in any way. To my credit I tried to stop them from yanking her out of the car. She could have been hurt even more by such rough handling. A few of us tried to get her to lie down, as she could have been seriously injured. She wouldn't lie down and several of the other occupants were running about screaming (not really holding that against them, I'd probably be pretty vocal myself in their place) and four of them dissappeared down a side street. They showed up again but as observers, not participants. Many other people saw this happen and they were quickly rounded up and questioned. One person was taken away by ambulance, and at least two others by police.
I would like to point out that this is a TUESDAY NIGHT/ WEDNESDAY MORNING. This is not Friday or Saturday. AND it was/is not raining. When it rains, there are accidents. There really is no "maybe" about this statement. One day I counted FIVE seperate accidents. Each one was about one hour after the one before it. Please, when driving on the LSD, don't try to take it at 85 mph. You might be able to do it on the video game "Grand Theft Auto" but you really can't do it in real life.

--Little Bird has made her public announcement

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Hazards of the CTA

It's pretty well known that I ride the bus. It happens to be very convenient for me. But I think I have wittnessed the lowest of the low of bus-riding experiences go. Last week, on a Saturday, there was a pile of human excrement IN the bus. As it turned out there was a small smear on one of the seats (window seat) and an alarmingly large.... uhhhh...... pile on the floor. We only found out about this when a woman sat in the non-smeared seat and, well, she was wearing flip-flops. And yes, she stepped in it. Thankfully she had hand sanitzer and some others nearby had napkins, but still, EEEEEWWWWWWWW. Every one on my bus was removed to the next one behind us so that the bus could be sanitzed. I hope that's why they removed us. It's kinda funny because I just read another blog where the most recent post discusses the truth of just how close ones foot is to that kind of filth when one chooses to wear flip-flops. That would be Mimi Smartypants, and I STILL haven't figured out how to post a link, so my appologies.
Today is like a Monday for me (begining of my work week) and yes. I have to take the bus this afternoon. I'm bringing hand sanitizer, moist towlletes, and napkins. AND a change of clothes.

--Little Bird has been scarred for life

Friday, September 7, 2007

I'm Sorry

I admit it. I am lame. I have not posted in quite awhile. For this I appolgize. It's not that anything particularly interesting happened. Something that might keep me from sitting in front of my computer and typing. Unless you count bone-weary tiredness. Because there has been a lot of that.
So let's see, what HAS happened since last post. I went to IKEA, and spent $40 dollars on basicly useless stuff. The bar had a fantasticaly rockin night, after which walking was painful to the extreme. My mother and I bought a Scrabble game and THREE books related to Scrabble (yes, as a matter of fact we ARE dorks). A very scarey guy came into the bar. Other than that it's been just regular old life.
Ok, what is it with the trixies? For those of you who don't know, or use the Little Bird to English Dictionary, a trixie is a person of the female persuasion who persists in dressing like a hooker but is not in fact a hooker. Also a trixie has the average IQ of a fruit fly. Or maybe a really bright chunk of granite. My area of town is filled with them. And they seem to come in all ages. The most recent and notable trixie was spotted at a resuraunt with her boyfriend and the boyfriends two VERY young boys. For this familial outing she chose to wear super-short-shorts, a leopard print painted-on-looking tank top, and strappy sandals with a four inch spike heel. Also? Roughly 8 pounds of makeup. And by the way, by super short shorts I mean WAY short. As in I've seen boxers that covered more. Short to the point that she probably had to make sure that her wax-job was recent enough. There were a few other trixies at this resturaunt, one in a fedora, and again way to much makeup. This one was at least wearing pants. Although they were white pants, and just barely opaque.
I still want that brick, but I think he knows.

--Little Bird is the epitome of dorkitude (sometimes)

Saturday, August 18, 2007


It is 3:45 pm and it is the weekend of the air show. I am not amused. I want the planes to stop. I wanted to be able to take a nap before work. But nooooo, the Blue Angels are buzzing my building every ten minutes, wasting thousands upon thousands of dollars in fuel and terrifying my cats. Grrrrrrrr. Why do we have air shows? What purpose do they serve? Other than to annoy the hell out of me. I have this morbid fantasy of one of 'em nose diving into the lake. The pilot safely ejecting of course. Because let's face it, the real reason people go to those things is the chance that they might wittness just such an occurance.

Work is fun, it's a bar, it SHOULD be fun. The nails aren't much of a hinderance. And I'm due there in about an hour. My co-worker/boss/best friend is picking me up today. Which is soooo nice as it is raining. And the bus will be packed due to the air show. I wish it would rain harder.

Damn it!!! The f&^%#ing jets are flying by at about the same height as my F-ahem- windows and are so -ahem- loud, they soud as if they are about to fly right into my apartment. It's nerve racking. If I could bite my nails right now I'd probably have bloody stumps. I'll be glad to get to work, and away from the lake-front.


Years ago I shared an apartment with two other people. I was 19. The three of us were sitting around, eating pizza or something. I made the comment that you practically have to hit a guy over the head with a brick before he realizes you like him. The next morning there was a brick leaning up against my bedroom door. A, the one male in the house proved that apparently it's not just a guy thing. We did not date, I was two weeks away from moving off to college. I wish I still had that brick though, there's someone I'd like to give it to.

--Little Bird is nervous

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

May I rant, just a little?

I must admit, I am something of a girly-girl. I went and got a manicure yesterday. With acrylics applied. And now they're a little too long. I'm not entirely used to them yet. I had them painted bright pink, to match the hot pink of my glasses. Like I said, a girly-girl.
Taking a cue from MetroDad, I have a mini-rant. To the dog owners/walkers in the Gold Coast area of Chicago, PICK UP AFTER YOUR DAMN DOGS!!!! I am tired of nearly stepping in doggie-doo every five feet, doing a sort of hop-scotch down the sidewalk. I have to look down when I walk, making me either bump into people or look as if I'm depressed.
To the City planners, get it togther already! Fix the roads, yes. But can you at least TRY to do it in a timely manner?? Do you know or care that it takes me an hour to get to work by bus? I don't work all that far away, only about 3 miles. You (the city planners) have decided that this summer was the perfect time to do repairs on one of our many bridges spanning the river. Yes, bridge repairs are good. Does it really take 2 months to fix this dinky little bridge? It's not like you're doing anything to the "legs", you're putting new grate-type surfacing on it. We had several events downtown while you diddled around, forcing us to take detours (that put us in some not-so-nice-neighborhoods) and sit in traffic for three times the amount of time it should take to get anywhere.
Ok, now that that is out of my system. Things at the bar are still going well, business continues to pick up. It'll be fun seeing what I can and can't do with these damn nails. Typing this has been full of deletes.

--Little Bird has claws

Monday, August 6, 2007

burnt nose hairs

There is sort of a science experiment going on at the bar. We have maybe 16 cases of beer that is over 2 years old. Maybe I should be clearer. That beer is Old Style. We have a customer who wants to buy it. We wouldn't let him buy all of it 'till he had a couple and then called us to let us know that he is still alive. He hasn't called. I'm sure he's fine, he's a fireman. He'll come in on Wednesday, wanting to pick up what's left. If he remembers that we have more. He was kinda drunk.
When we opened a bottle (cautiously) for him he poured a little into a glass for us (Ginger and I) to see that it wasn't all that bad. It was that bad. I did not actually taste it, I sniffed it. It burned my nose hairs. Maybe we should call that customer. Hmmmm.

---Little Bird is blinding you with science

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Drunk Posting

This will be the equivilent of drunk dialing. Except I am not really all that drunk. Remember, I work in a bar. At least now I do. This means I get home late (for me) and when I do, I smell of bar. Eau d'Bar. That aromatic blend of stale cigarettes, stale beer, and some un-definable wiff of something less than pleasant. I don't really want to know just what that wiff is. Tonight's crowd was fun, not that 10 people constitute a crowd, but I had fun. We have two new regulars, J & J, they will know it's them I speak of. I am sooooo glad that they have become regulars. Any one who can get my obscure jokes is ok in my book. Yes, I joke IRL, but scarcasm just doesn't translate into print all that well.
Ummm... I think that judging by the amount of times I have had to use the "delete" key (and all the times I should have but missed it) maybe it IS time to put myself to bed. By the way, that last sentence got 5 deletes, this one 2. G'night!

--Little Bird has had enough

Monday, July 23, 2007

la la la life

Ok, so I bought the book. The seventh book. And I read it in less than 24 hours. I must admit it, I am lame. I got snookered into going to the Harry Potter extravaganza by my best buddy and co-worker. To be perfectly fair I agreed to this. But with God as my wittness, I will never go to another like event with two-cont 'em - TWO fourteen year-olds ever, ever again. If it had just been the little sister of my co-worker I'd have been just fine. But I forgot what happens when you get more than one of 'em together. I should have remembered, I mean I was 14 once. I have it on good authority that I was awful. My mother has told me much.
In other news life at the bar is much much fun. Even when it's deader than a doornail. I really love that place. I get to play hostess at a party whenever I work there. That and the fact that it IS a dive bar I can drink a beer or two WHILE I'm working.
Also, the glasses? I love them. Bright orange, bright pink. Who could ask for more? I am definately easy to pick out of a crowd.
One last item. I am well aware of the fact that my spelling sucks. I'm sure that spell check would help that. Aparaently it has some thing to do with the NF, or the NLD that is part of the NF. I could spend an hour just on explaining just what those two things are, or you could google them. I'll even give you the words that the acronyms stand for. NF= Neurofibromatosis. NLD= nonverbal learning disability. They're both online.

--Little Bird is visable at least

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Train Ride Anyone?

I got new glasses!! Rather, I got the frames for my new glasses and will get the finished product sometime next week. Maybe. They are orange and hot pink, mostly orange though. No surprise there. This particular colorway has been discontinued, and were not easy to find. But if you like way cool glasses, and don't feel like paying an arm, leg, and first-born to get 'em, try eyebobs. That's the brand name, and yes, they're on the net. They're reading glasses and I just get my 'scrip put into them. I saw a pair of Prada glasses that are nearly identical to my current pair and mine were less than a tenth of the price.
Due to my strange affection for travel by train, I am starting to make plans to go to Tuscon for thanksgiving. That shoul come out to around 2 to 3 days on the train. Every time I take a train trip I tell myself that I'll never do it again. And every time a trip presents itself I opt to go by train. I'm sure they make medication for this. But I have gotten better at it. I've learned to streamline my packing, I bought a travel blanket and one of those sleep mask thingies (orange). I have decided to buy a mah-jong AND a solitaire game for my computer. To be installed the day before my train leaves and un-installed the day after I get back. These two games will keep me occupied for 90% of my journey. The other key to travel by train is to bring a cooler. And fill it with beer. Just don't get rowdy, or they'll kick you off god-knows-where. Most of the people on trains are pretty cool. It's rare that theft occurs, and rarer still that some one gets "removed" from the train.* The food by and large sucks, but that's to be expected. Bring your own in that cooler, so it's not JUST beer in there. Also, if your train happens to hit a car, don't worry, it feels like when the train switches tracks. In other words almost nothing. You will be stuck sitting there for at least two hours while they inspect the engine for damage. Yes, that has happened during one of my trips. Seriously, I didn't even know we hit anything untill about an hour into the sitting and waiting when we finaly cornered an attendant and wouldn't let him go 'till he told us what had happened. Seemed he thought we would panic if we knew. Panic? We were surprised, but we all wanted to SEE the wreckage, not panic. The attendant also told us that every train employee experiences an accident like that one at least once. So that might just be more common than you would think. And lest you think this was the conductors fault, the diver of the pickup truck we hit was drunk and trying to "beat the train". The train won. Also, it takes like a mile or more for a train going at normal speed to come to a complete stop. Also? Cars can swerve, trains can't.

* That being said I shoud tell you that on one trip to Colorado no less than three people were "removed". One of them (who incedently stole money from my bag) was loud cursing and just plain nuts. He was asked to stop using profanity and his response was "I'm not fucking using profanity". Maybe he thought profanity was some kind of drug. He said something to the effect of "I dint sleep wit no bich name Linda an I dint give her no disease! I'm not goin to no psych ward, Jerome is, not me." When he said "psych ward" it all became clear. That and when he threatened to "Shank" some guy in the snack car. He also kept following one young woman every time she went down to the ladies room with her three year old daughter. He was removed by the good people of the Denver police force. The other two folks were let off in the middle of no-where and ALSO met by law enforcement officials because they were smoking funny cigarettes in the bathroom. All in all it was a pretty eventfull trip. But again that IS pretty rare. I travel by train at least three or four times a year (for the last four years or so) and that's the only trip with folks getting removed.

---Liitle Bird is onboard

While this sounds like a cautionary tale, I do like and suggest travel by train, you get more of a feel for the distance traveled and a better understanding of the land.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy Fourth!

As if I really care. I'm too tired to truly think straight. I've been helping one friend at her family's bar (yeah, me in a bar with un-limited access to all the beer I can drink) and another friend at his dry cleaners. Too pooped to pop. As my mother would say. Tonight at the bar (the cleaners was closed today) we barbequed. And drank. And schlepped a bunch of stuff around, cleaning the place up after the sale this past weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love that bar. And the people who work there. It's my new "Cheers", a place where I am accepted. I want to see the place do well, especially since I will be bartending there every so often. Thankfully it's a beer and shots kinda place and I won't have to make fancy drinks. So now as I am either about to fall asleep or get entirely sucked into "Flowers in the Attic" (all hail ShowTime) I must be going.

-Little Bird is beyond tired.

P.S. pretty much all I do at the cleaners is play mah-jong on the computer, interupted by brief periods of actual work

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I feel lucky

Ok, I have now seen one of Mother Nature's more amazing sights. Yesterday there was a HUGE thunderstorm here. And I do mean huge, think 7 inches of rain, accumulating on Lakeshore Drive... in 15 minutes. Anyway, I was just sitting around surfing the 'net (on an un-plugged laptop - no frying computers for me!) and I heard three very loud cracks of thunder in very quick succession. I made it out to the living room in time to see lightning hit the lake. In the Harbor. I. Saw. Where. The. Lightning. Terminated.... Twice. It was a scarey sight. The best I can figure is that the three cracks of thunder was actually lightning jumping from and hitting several buildings. Not mine thank god.
Funnily enough, when I got up to go to the farmers market yesterday it felt like rain. The sun was shining, it was swelteringly hot, but it was gonna rain. And rain it did. It rained for hours. Most of that being heavy downpour. And more is expected today. Fun, fun, fun!
Oh, I also found a web-site dedicated to one of my favorite authors, Melanie Rawn. The site is called Exiles, also the title of the first instalment of a series. If I knew how to make that a link I would have.

--Little Bird has seen the light(ning)

Friday, June 22, 2007

Facial Recognition

For all those wondering (all two of you) the movie I was watching was Amityville Horror. The newer one. Not as scarey as the first, but few movies are better in the re-make, or sequel.
Tonight it's "The Man In The Iron Mask". I've been having fun recognizing actors. It should be said that due to the NF and the NLD that came with it, I'm really really bad at facial recognition. But I've done quite well. I was looking at the Three Muskateers, Porthos, Athos, and Aramis and said to myself "that looks like Girard Depairdiu (apologies for the spelling), and... John Malkovich! And Jeremy Irons!!! ". And then later I saw the Kings Advisors and looked harder, lo and behold it was Hugh Laurie!! Of course I had to google it all to find out if I was correct, but I was!! Score for the girl with NLD!!! Maybe it sounds stupid, but it's kind of a big deal to me. I'm REALLY bad at facial recognition, always have been. This really is a feat of, of, of... well of recognition. I know, lame end to that one, but it is true. To give a frame of reference, I once claimed it was Sandra Bullock in a movie that starred Uma Thurman. Yeah, it's that bad.

--Little Bird is feeling pretty good about herself right now.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Ok, this is not something I like to admit, but I am terrified of scarey movies. But they have to be scarey, not slasher types. And the new (2005) qualifies as scarey. There must be suspense, the type that keeps you peeking from between your fingers. I am terrified, but I love it. Now if I could only watch them during daylight, all would be fine. But no, the gods of cable insist on showwing these movies at such a time that it will be dark before it's over. And now I'm totally creeped out. I just saw the coffins in the basement scene. And they're off and running, being chased by the REALLY scarey guy holding a rifle. Trying to type this is keeping me from watching to closely and therefore keeping me from throwing up. And for some sick reason I absolutely LOVE horror movies. I like my adreniline rushes to be safe, and without physical harm. To me. What's that old line? Tragedy is when I cut myself shaving, comedy is when you fall down a a pit and die. That or it's all fun and games 'till some one gets hurt, then it's just fun.

--Little Bird is feeling a little sick and twisted right now

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Prostitutes and Cheez-puffs

A long time ago, in a city far away, I grew up. When I was around five years old I asked my mother what a prostitute was. I should point out that A, we lived in a not so nice neighborhood with prostitutes around the corner, and B, my mother is famous for giving WAY too much backstory. Apparently it's an hereditary trait. So, here I am five years old, sitting in the kitchen and asking my mother about prostitutes. My mother thinking that in order to tell me what a prostitute IS, she must first tell me what a prostitute DOES. And to do that she felt she would need to first explain sex. Remember, I was five. She launched into this incredibly detailed explanation of what sex is and why people do it. And then how prostitutes figure in the mix. About an hour later (or more) she finishes up by asking if I had any other questions. I looked around the room thinking that this was my last chance to ask anything, my eyes lit on the fridge. Rather on the bag of cheez-puffs on top of the fridge. And I asked "Yeah, how do they make cheez-puffs?". That one she couldn't answer, she didn't know.
Well I have wondered that for years. I have always loved cheez-puffs, for reasons that are beyond explanation. So imagine my excitement when a few days ago "How It's Made" a TV show on the Discovery Channel told us how cheez-puffs are made!!I called my mom at work and told her I now knew everything as I just found out the answer to that long ago question. Yes, she was amused.

Little Bird learns something everyday

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Blargg. I feel yicky. I have a cold. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. Or die. At this point I don't really care which. All this means is I have a large amount of time to watch lots and lots of really bad TV. And "Date Movie" totally counts as really bad TV.
Sorry if this isn't much of a post, my brain is not up to it's usual standards. I haven't yet taken any meds for the cold and the clogged quality of my head is keeping me from thinking straight. I want to go sleep now. I must go find some Tylenol Cold and Flu.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Back of My neck Feelin' Dirty and Gritty

Summer has arrived. It is hot and humid as only Chicago can be. This of course is subject to change, as only Chicago can be. I will be going to an even more humid place next week. St. Louis, where I grew up. So, much of today was spent running around to achive this trip. Train station, the need for a shirt (which some how turned into three of 'em) and a guest gift for the ones putting me up for the weekend. Oh, and lunch with my mother. Chicken salad, in the courtyard at the Art Institute. Did I mention it's hot here right now? I was sweating before I got five blocks. I was positivley wilted by the time I got home. And I still have to bake a cake for my step-father. It's his birthday. I am told that he doesn't want the world to know how old he is.

--Little Bird is sorely tempted

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Home again, home again

You know how when you go visit somewhere you often leave happy to be going home? Not beacause there is anything wrong with the place you were, but because you just want to sleep in your own bed? That's how I felt yesterday. I spent the last 5 days at Ginger's house. Ginger of Delusional at that is. She's one of my bestest friends, and we had a blast. I feel like this at the end of almost every trip, vacation, whatever. I like my place, I like to spend time here. I have set it up pretty much how I want it. The only real changes I would make include not having to deal with my stepfather.
While I was at Gingers place I read a book called "Prep". It was about a girl in boarding school. It reminded me that high school is universally awful. That I am not unique in my hatred of that time. I've developed a theory that it has to do with brain developement. Brain vs Mind if you will. It's when you start to look at the world and see how you are different from it. Or at least how different you feel. It's funny that we all think that OUR experience was unique, was somehow ... deserving of notice by the world. And then you read a book like "Prep" and even though you didn't go to boarding school you recognize yourself in the main character. You think that some one understands, that they "got" it. And we never think that, having read that book, we are not all that unique.
To go with that theory is this one, high school never ends. Life is just a continuation of all the cliques, drama, and game playing that happened in high school. The popular girl has a different title now, and the principal is called "the boss" or the ceo. But the social break down of the office is damn near identical to high school. I don't know anyone who REALLY enjoyed high school. I mean in their heart of hearts, that part of themselves they don't tell anyone about. I think it was awkward and uncomfortable for all of us. And those who say it was the best time of their lives are either lieing (to themselves and everyone else) or their lives currently suck. And to think how baddly my life would have to suck for high school to be the highlight kinda terrifies me.

--Little Bird is in the nest

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

On the phone and in my apartment

I am currently in the middle of arguements with my cable provider. Not that surprising is it? Especially considering the fact that Comcast is my provider. About a month ago I had a techncian in to fix my reception. He did, and he broke ny orange buddha head. The buddha head was about 5 feet away from the tv do there is no reason it should have happened. So I called in a damage complaint. Then I needed to have a digital converter box installed. Then they sent me the wrong box and sent someone to fix my reception that I did not need. Then they sent someone to bring and install the right box. Then I called to complain that I hadn't heard from anyone about the broken buddha head. That person told me it normaly takes one month to get through those things AND that I must have the item to show a supervisor when they come to inspect. No one said anything like this during my initial phone call. Thank God I saved it. So I called yesterday to complain that I STILL had not heard from anyone concerning my buddha head. I told the lady that I would start calling everyday until I recieved a check to replace it. I was transfered to a supervisor, and given the name of an individual who will expidite this issue. On top of all this I am not getting all of my channels. I told them this and they did some wierd stuff that included turning off my cable box remotely (not just cutting transmision, but actually physically turning it off-- as in not plugged in off) and they got back my missing channels but now I am missing more so a tech is coming over between 1 and 5 to fix this. At some point last night I recieved a phone call from a survey-type company wanting to know how satisfied I was with Comcast. Me, the pissed off one who's had personal property damaged and can't watch a few of her favorite channels. They wanted me to rate Comcast!! I had a few choice things to say and did give them good ratings when it came to them being polite and curteous and not being put on hold for forever and a day. They may blow you off, but they're very polite while doing it.
Add this to the stress of having to stay at a friends house because my folks have told friends of theirs that they could stay in MY apartment. The stress of this includes the place having to be clean enough to perform surgery in. And the removal of any and all items that personalize my space. The one exception? My salt and pepper shaker collection. My step-father actually thinks the collection is cool. I just need to put the shelves for them up. I would rant some more about this but I have to go put everything of mune that is in my room in a hiding place while still leaving room for the guests to put their stuff (as if this were a hotel--devoid of personality). Bitter? Who? Me?

--Little Bird is stressed to distraction

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Have you ever had one of those moments (hours) where you just sat and listened to music? Where the music just seems to transport you? There are only a few "albums" that do that for me. Robert Miles' "Dreamland" is one of those. I don't really know what it is about it but it just makes me feel like everything is ok. It's kinda trancy, almost like it could make you feel "chemically altered" without the chemicals. I don't know if it was the artists intent but I feel... hope when I listen to it. And peaceful. Sometimes I'll listen to it with the sound low, and fall asleep to it. I always have amazing dreams when I do that.
Enya's "Watermark" is another one of those "albums" that takes me away. There are only so many that can do that. Most of the music that I have purchased does fall into that catagory, but then, I only buy what I really really like. I have (like so many people I know) different music for different moods. Dreamland and Watermark for introspection. The Wall and other Pink Floyd for nostalgia*. Guns n' Roses and other hair-bands for a different type of nostalgia. I am a child of the 80's after all. If I were to meditate for real, it would be to music. I hate overly loud music, which is why I haven't been to many concerts, but also prefer it to be perfectly audible. I know, picky. The only types of music I loathe are gangsta rap and new country. Oh, and recent boy-bands. I can tolerate hip-hop, and top-40 (that would be recent top-40) but prefer my own weird choices. Pink Floyd, Robert Miles, Enya, Eagles (I never claimed to be consistant) Indigo Girls, and Massive Attack. All of it in one way or another takes me somewhere. Be it back in time (in my head, people) or deep in thought, music is a pancea of sorts. It soothes, or invigorates. It alters the listener.

* I was friends with pot-heads when I was younger, this is what rubbed off on me. Pretty good when you consider the habits I COULD have picked up.

P.S. I put the word albums in quotation marks only 'cause when I think of albums I think of great big vinyl records, not CD's and therefore albums are physical items, not the concepts they really are. My own brand of logic for you. And no, I am not truely old enough to remember LP's.

--Little Bird is headed for Dreamland

Monday, May 7, 2007



This past Friday night I went to a friends house to drink beer and watch movies. And eat pizza. I didn't think I would be out all that late. But I missed the latest Addison bus around the time Robn Williams was finding out that his newfound Vietnamese friend was the enemy. So I drank more beer and we watched another movie. And an episode of "Digging For the Truth". And another movie. And finaly I was walking to the bus stop at 5:20 Saturday morning. Have I mentioned that I am NOT a morning person? Of course, I hadn't been to sleep at all so as far as I was concerned it was still Friday. I got home to sleep for a very interupted five hours and proceeded to walk six miles. I am still recovering from this. I very nearly fell asleep WHILE WALKING yesterday and didn't get up 'till noon today. I must say though, the park (Lincoln Park) was lovely at 6:00 am and while it was too cold for the way I was dressed (not a heavy enough coat) I saw the sun come up and it was worth it.

--Little Bird is older than she would like to admit

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The Saga Continues

Last night, kinda late, I checked my e-mail. Lo and behold, I recieved an e-mail from HNG (I need to come up with a new name for him) telling me why I hadn't heard from him. Apparently he was involved in an accident while on a "fast ropes excersize" that resulted in " a few bruised ribs, minor concusion" and reduced his cell phone to "crumbs". He was kept overnight for observation and that's when he realized he had "no way" of communicating with me. He requested that I call his work phone (cell) and wants me to come visit him. Do you see the giant mac truck sized holes in that story? I do. Allow me to point them out. First, when exactly was this "accident"? Before he didn't call for 10 days prior to his not showing up? Or maybe it was just a day or two before he didn't show up. Secondly why did he wait 3 days after he got home to e-mail me and tell me what happened? I must not have been a priority, or my feelings. If the "accident" was early in the 10 days I DID call his work phone and he never called back. AND he could have e-mailed me from the hospital. IF I was important enough to him.
Yes, I know this makes me soud spoiled and awful. But I am worth the effort of a phone call! To me his story sounds waaaaayyyy to convienient. He's not that lucky, and I'm not that stupid. Since I do NOT have the word Mattel stamped across my lower back he can stop toying with me.

Little Bird is NOT a plaything

Monday, April 30, 2007


Yesterday was the last day of my self-allowed pity party. To mark the passing of said pity party I went out with a friend to drink some more. I decided that I would get a little gussied up. To me this means a shirt that is not a t-shirt (button up, brown in this case) and heels. Jeans are a given, this was not a skirt occasion. So I wore heels. Orange heels*. Pretty orange heels. Painful orange heels. I currently have one blister the size of a quarter on the ball of EACH foot. Plus one that covers the entirety of my second toe on the right foot and a tiny one on the side of my big toe on the other foot. Right now I do not walk so good.
* If it isn't obvious I like the color orange. A lot. I even bought orange sheets.
All in all I walked 8 miles yesterday, maybe even a little more. No, all eight were not walked in the heels. Rather a pair of orange Merrels (told ya I liked orange). And about seven the day before yesterday. Today I will be lucky if I walk one. I want to get back in the habit of walking between five and ten miles a day. Every day. Except in the rain. That and bike riding again. Every weekday. I learned last year that it is damn near impossible to ride in Lincoln Park or on the lake paths on a weekend. The paths are packed. Usually with incredibly inconsiderate walkers, rollerbladers, and the "mommy brigade". I ride early (for me anyway) weekday mornings when it's not raining or too windy. The bike is a steel-framed mountain bike and I would swear it weighs nearly 40 pounds, I can barely make it move in the wind.

--Little Bird is limping

Saturday, April 28, 2007


He was supposed to arrive yesterday evening. He did not. I can deal with the idea that he's just not that into me. What bugs me is the lack of balls. He couldn't even call to make an excuse. Oh well, his loss. I looked great yesterday evening. Before I went to the bar and comenced to drink until they closed. I was a little bitter. Still am. I guess it's better to know what I know now instead of being strung along for longer. To be honest I don't know yet if I'm angry or if I'm sad. If I had to say what I am right this moment I'd have to say I'm both.
The way I've chosen to look at this is to say that now I can focus on my own life again. I can go out and have fun. I can date any guy I choose. I have decided to pamper myself with hot baths, perfume, and other such girly things. Like wine! I am drinking right now, and soon I will take a looonnnng, hot, lilac scented bath. Just thinking about it is relaxing.

Little Bird is going to be ok

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Torturing Myself

It appears that my previous quandry was an excersize in futility. I have not heard from HNG (Hot New Guy) in over a week now. My mind being over active I have come up with possible reasons that would prevent him from calling. First being that his cell phone broke, and he never memorized my number (sounds bad but then I never memorized his, I just programed it into MY phone). Second, him being in training, they moved everybody on base and took their phones away (uh, did I mention he's in the army?). So, now I'm not even sure if he's coming or not. If he CAN'T call I don't want to be angry with him. If he WON'T call, I reserve the right to be furious. Livid. But right now, I'm just confused. And a little depressed.

Little Bird is at a loss

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


Ok, after yesterday's post I got to thinking. You see, a little over a month ago I met this guy. On a train. A very attractive guy. And we have carried on a phone "relationship", and no not in the "dirty" sense. I really like this guy. We'll call him Hot Train Guy or HTG for the sake of simplicity. Any way HTG knows that I have a neurological condition. And that that condition precludes me from having children. And that is all he knows. I didn't tell him about the tumors or the spots. Ahould I have? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak?
In the past I have been pretty up-front about it. Usually mentioning it the first time I meet someone (which could explain why I haven't dated in well over a year). But this time it seemed like the topic didn't really come up on the train. And never did on the phone or in e-mails either. I don't want him to think I was hiding it, or attempting to trick him, it just never really came up. And now I'm a little afraid that he'll be disgusted or feel duped.
He's visiting this Friday. He'll be here 'till Sunday early afternoon. He will definitely see the tumors. I can't exactly say "Oh, by the way, before you get here there's something you should know..." or "Oh, before we hop into this bed you should probably know this thing about me...." AAAARRRGGG!!!!

Little Bird is soooo confused

Monday, April 23, 2007

Blah blah blah

So far today has been blah. I walked 4 and a half miles and will end up walking 3 more. Yes, I am doing it on purpose. I may be crazy. I'm watching bad TV. Mainly because there is nothing to do. I work for my folks and they have nothing for me to do today. I should probably explain a few things.
I have neurofibromatosis (say THAT five times fast). And NF causes a whole host of issues. I have tumors (little ones and benign) and spots. I have a non-verbal learning disability. For those who may want to say I don't sound like I have a learning disability, go look up a non-verbal learning disability. Because of the NLD (that's the learning disability) I have a problem with employment. Keeping it that is. This is why I work for my folks. This also means I have no health insurance. I am un-coverable. Good times. The up-shot is I have lots of time to walk 7 miles and watch bad TV. I come of soundig flip about it, but that's sort of how I deal with it. If I didn't laugh about it, I'd cry a lot.
--little bird

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Apples, apples everywhere

Ok, so I live in Chicago, a large city. One expects to see all kinds of weirdness in a city this size. But some days are weirder than others. Last summer while walking I saw: two adult and sane looking women lying on the sidewalk having a conversation. Lying on their backs mind you. On the sidewalk! Later that same day in the park the firemen were hosing down trees for no apparent reason, there was no fire. And their test site is not in the park. Lastly on that strange strange day there was a large fiberglass orange spotted cow being pulled down the street. See? Weirdness. So yesterday I shouldn't have been too weirded out by what I saw. Apples. Under bushes. In yards. In fountains. Perfectly good apples. No bites taken out, no bruising (I think, I didn't get too close). One apple I could understand, some one dropped it when walking home from the store, sure I get that. But in the middle of a hedged in yard, far from the sidewalks? An apartment yard no less, the kind you aren't allowed to walk around in. In fountains? I sort of wondered if someone did it on purpose just to see if anyone noticed them. How they would know that anyone noticed them is not something I figured out yet.
--Little Bird

Friday, April 20, 2007


Well, I've done it. I've started a blog. Please expect this to be semi-coherent ramblings and such. Oh, and as this is more or less an on-line diary, fairly self-involved. Yes, I know, I am announcing my right to be lame.