Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Hazards of LSD

I happen to live near a particulary dangerous stretch of Lake Shore Drive. As evidenced by tonights (this VERY early mornings) single car accident. It was an SUV. The people inside said SUV were fairly drunk. Or at least appeared to be (entering here the fact that there were SEVERAL broken Corona bottles and a cardboard Corona 12-pack container) drunk. One of the occupants of this vehicle was removed BY THE OTHER OCCUPANTS by her ankles!!!!!! Yes, I made sure that the police and the EMTs knew this. I have no idea how this accident came to be but the SUV was UPSIDEDOWN people. I heard the (prolonged) crash, ran to my living room, grabbed the binoculars that are there (for just that reason) and saw the underside of a large vehicle. I called 911, told 'em what I was seeing and ran outside to see if I could help in any way. To my credit I tried to stop them from yanking her out of the car. She could have been hurt even more by such rough handling. A few of us tried to get her to lie down, as she could have been seriously injured. She wouldn't lie down and several of the other occupants were running about screaming (not really holding that against them, I'd probably be pretty vocal myself in their place) and four of them dissappeared down a side street. They showed up again but as observers, not participants. Many other people saw this happen and they were quickly rounded up and questioned. One person was taken away by ambulance, and at least two others by police.
I would like to point out that this is a TUESDAY NIGHT/ WEDNESDAY MORNING. This is not Friday or Saturday. AND it was/is not raining. When it rains, there are accidents. There really is no "maybe" about this statement. One day I counted FIVE seperate accidents. Each one was about one hour after the one before it. Please, when driving on the LSD, don't try to take it at 85 mph. You might be able to do it on the video game "Grand Theft Auto" but you really can't do it in real life.

--Little Bird has made her public announcement

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Hazards of the CTA

It's pretty well known that I ride the bus. It happens to be very convenient for me. But I think I have wittnessed the lowest of the low of bus-riding experiences go. Last week, on a Saturday, there was a pile of human excrement IN the bus. As it turned out there was a small smear on one of the seats (window seat) and an alarmingly large.... uhhhh...... pile on the floor. We only found out about this when a woman sat in the non-smeared seat and, well, she was wearing flip-flops. And yes, she stepped in it. Thankfully she had hand sanitzer and some others nearby had napkins, but still, EEEEEWWWWWWWW. Every one on my bus was removed to the next one behind us so that the bus could be sanitzed. I hope that's why they removed us. It's kinda funny because I just read another blog where the most recent post discusses the truth of just how close ones foot is to that kind of filth when one chooses to wear flip-flops. That would be Mimi Smartypants, and I STILL haven't figured out how to post a link, so my appologies.
Today is like a Monday for me (begining of my work week) and yes. I have to take the bus this afternoon. I'm bringing hand sanitizer, moist towlletes, and napkins. AND a change of clothes.

--Little Bird has been scarred for life

Friday, September 7, 2007

I'm Sorry

I admit it. I am lame. I have not posted in quite awhile. For this I appolgize. It's not that anything particularly interesting happened. Something that might keep me from sitting in front of my computer and typing. Unless you count bone-weary tiredness. Because there has been a lot of that.
So let's see, what HAS happened since last post. I went to IKEA, and spent $40 dollars on basicly useless stuff. The bar had a fantasticaly rockin night, after which walking was painful to the extreme. My mother and I bought a Scrabble game and THREE books related to Scrabble (yes, as a matter of fact we ARE dorks). A very scarey guy came into the bar. Other than that it's been just regular old life.
Ok, what is it with the trixies? For those of you who don't know, or use the Little Bird to English Dictionary, a trixie is a person of the female persuasion who persists in dressing like a hooker but is not in fact a hooker. Also a trixie has the average IQ of a fruit fly. Or maybe a really bright chunk of granite. My area of town is filled with them. And they seem to come in all ages. The most recent and notable trixie was spotted at a resuraunt with her boyfriend and the boyfriends two VERY young boys. For this familial outing she chose to wear super-short-shorts, a leopard print painted-on-looking tank top, and strappy sandals with a four inch spike heel. Also? Roughly 8 pounds of makeup. And by the way, by super short shorts I mean WAY short. As in I've seen boxers that covered more. Short to the point that she probably had to make sure that her wax-job was recent enough. There were a few other trixies at this resturaunt, one in a fedora, and again way to much makeup. This one was at least wearing pants. Although they were white pants, and just barely opaque.
I still want that brick, but I think he knows.

--Little Bird is the epitome of dorkitude (sometimes)