Hello everyone! Today's post is from New Mexico. It is sunny and cool and Mama Bird's B-day party was a rousing success. No cell service up here though. So if you haven't gotten a call from me (assuming you were expecting one) I can't do it.
Okay, on to the other thing I wanted to address. This is a blog. It is sort of an on-line diary. If you are not interested in the goings on in my life, you are not required to read it. However, if you're going to comment about how no one wants to hear/read about my issues, have the balls to sign your goddamned name. Even if it is a screen name. If you feel the need to say something, clearly you care. Also, if you know I won't publish it due to the fact that you are a fucking asshole, why comment at all?
--Little Bird says FY,YFF!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Irritations
Hello! I'm back! I know I've been gone for what seems like forever. There have been... issues. Boy HOWDY, have there been issues. Let's start with the biggest one.
Several months ago I started a new medication. One that was supposed to help regulate mood and keep the brain chemistry in the right balance. I suppose it did those things, but at some expense. The list of side effects that came with the meds was daunting. And I ended up with some of the most awful ones. Extreme lethargy (we're talking tired ALL THE TIME). Increased sweating (as if I didn't already sweat too much). And last but certainly not least, diarrhea. Unpredictable, explosive, and extremely unpleasant.
The reasons I switched to it were because I wasn't happy with the medication I had been taking and also the new one was only $4. As opposed to the $96 I had previously been paying.
I stopped taking my meds. I stopped because I was tired of being tired. Because I couldn't go anywhere for several hours after taking it for fear of shitting my pants. I stopped taking them and then things started to get bad.
I got... irritable. Irritable like just-woken-up-haven't-had-caffeine-yet-PMS times like a thousand. It was... not fun for me. I can't imagine that I was much fun to be around. I wasn't sleeping well. I gained twenty pounds (which only irritated me more).
So the other day Mama Bird and I were discussing this and I made an appointment with my doctor. I get to see her in two weeks. In the mean time I'm going to New Mexico. A twenty four hour train ride sounds like just the thing for an irritated mess, right? Two days after I made the appointment it dawned on me that I could call my doctor and ask her if she could phone in a prescription of my OLD meds so that I wouldn't kill anyone on the train. She did and I've been taking them for five or six days now. Already things are better.
The meds I'm taking now are actually different from the old old ones. Before I was taking two pills in the morning and they were sustained release. This meant that I was getting a double dose in the morning and petered out to nothing in the evenings. The NEW old meds are the same drug, but one pill that is also sustained release, but sustained for the whole day.
The new meds cost $117 a month, and that's not great, but at least I'm no more irritated than the next person now.
I think I've explained the whole brain chemistry thing as it pertains to me before here, but I'm gonna do it again.
I have Neurofibromatosis (NF). And a non-verbal learning disorder (NLD). Because of the NF, the nerves in my brain are slightly compromised. Imagine that nerves are like electrical wires, and those wires have that protective sheath insulating them. Okay, the insulation on the wires in my brain? Full of holes. It's not supposed to be like that. Because it's like that, I use more of a specific brain chemical than I make. Because of all that, I have the NLD. Fun isn't it? The meds I take balance all that out. They slow down my re-uptake of the chemical, so there's enough to go around.
At least that's how I understand it. But my brain is wired weird, so I might be wrong,
It's possible that my lack of posting has been because of the imbalance I've been experiencing. We'll see.
--Little Bird is (re)medicated
Several months ago I started a new medication. One that was supposed to help regulate mood and keep the brain chemistry in the right balance. I suppose it did those things, but at some expense. The list of side effects that came with the meds was daunting. And I ended up with some of the most awful ones. Extreme lethargy (we're talking tired ALL THE TIME). Increased sweating (as if I didn't already sweat too much). And last but certainly not least, diarrhea. Unpredictable, explosive, and extremely unpleasant.
The reasons I switched to it were because I wasn't happy with the medication I had been taking and also the new one was only $4. As opposed to the $96 I had previously been paying.
I stopped taking my meds. I stopped because I was tired of being tired. Because I couldn't go anywhere for several hours after taking it for fear of shitting my pants. I stopped taking them and then things started to get bad.
I got... irritable. Irritable like just-woken-up-haven't-had-caffeine-yet-PMS times like a thousand. It was... not fun for me. I can't imagine that I was much fun to be around. I wasn't sleeping well. I gained twenty pounds (which only irritated me more).
So the other day Mama Bird and I were discussing this and I made an appointment with my doctor. I get to see her in two weeks. In the mean time I'm going to New Mexico. A twenty four hour train ride sounds like just the thing for an irritated mess, right? Two days after I made the appointment it dawned on me that I could call my doctor and ask her if she could phone in a prescription of my OLD meds so that I wouldn't kill anyone on the train. She did and I've been taking them for five or six days now. Already things are better.
The meds I'm taking now are actually different from the old old ones. Before I was taking two pills in the morning and they were sustained release. This meant that I was getting a double dose in the morning and petered out to nothing in the evenings. The NEW old meds are the same drug, but one pill that is also sustained release, but sustained for the whole day.
The new meds cost $117 a month, and that's not great, but at least I'm no more irritated than the next person now.
I think I've explained the whole brain chemistry thing as it pertains to me before here, but I'm gonna do it again.
I have Neurofibromatosis (NF). And a non-verbal learning disorder (NLD). Because of the NF, the nerves in my brain are slightly compromised. Imagine that nerves are like electrical wires, and those wires have that protective sheath insulating them. Okay, the insulation on the wires in my brain? Full of holes. It's not supposed to be like that. Because it's like that, I use more of a specific brain chemical than I make. Because of all that, I have the NLD. Fun isn't it? The meds I take balance all that out. They slow down my re-uptake of the chemical, so there's enough to go around.
At least that's how I understand it. But my brain is wired weird, so I might be wrong,
It's possible that my lack of posting has been because of the imbalance I've been experiencing. We'll see.
--Little Bird is (re)medicated
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wherein I Wax Nostalgic
This evening, rather late, I was struck with this indescribable urge to go outside. No reason. I just needed to go outside. So I did. And when I stepped outside the doors, I was struck. By the air. The smell, the sensation, the sounds. It's warm, but not hot. And the smell, ... have you ever put something made of iron in your mouth and tasted that sharp tang? That's what it smells like outside right now. It's humid, but not too humid. There's a certain sense of nostalgia outside right now that I can't really explain. It smells green outside. I don't know how to explain it. I love it. It is soooo nice outside that I would love to sleep outside if I could. If I could without being crawled over by about a million spiders.
Something about the quality about the air outside reminds me of being a kid. Nothing specific about being that kid, just being there. I cannot explain it - I know I said that already - but it's true.
It's like I'm here, in this moment, experiencing life. Being there, in life. So much of each day just goes by and I don't really think about it. But there are moments, like tonight outside, where you really feel life. I'm here in this moment and I am. Even the sounds of the night are important somehow. The dull rumble of traffic. The faint hum of insects. The even fainter hum of the air-conditioner condensers from all the nearby buildings. There are people out and about, talking. You can't hear what they are saying, just the babble of voices. But quiet-like. If I had better words to describe it, I'd use them.
--Little Bird is... in the moment
Something about the quality about the air outside reminds me of being a kid. Nothing specific about being that kid, just being there. I cannot explain it - I know I said that already - but it's true.
It's like I'm here, in this moment, experiencing life. Being there, in life. So much of each day just goes by and I don't really think about it. But there are moments, like tonight outside, where you really feel life. I'm here in this moment and I am. Even the sounds of the night are important somehow. The dull rumble of traffic. The faint hum of insects. The even fainter hum of the air-conditioner condensers from all the nearby buildings. There are people out and about, talking. You can't hear what they are saying, just the babble of voices. But quiet-like. If I had better words to describe it, I'd use them.
--Little Bird is... in the moment
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Ketchup
So, yeah... umm... I've been gone awhile. No real reason for it. I haven't been super busy. I did go to a family reunion. But that was just this past Sunday. And Rooster and I went to go visit his parents in Michigan a couple of weeks ago for a weekend. But that still doesn't explain my absence.
But I have some new stories.
Roosters parents, his mother specifically seems to like me. She stole a set of salt and pepper shakers from her sister-in-law for me. AND sent me three boxes of Jiffy Pop stove top popcorn. Michigan was nice, the drive wasn't overly long, and it all went well.
The family reunion (my family) was not as bad as it could have been, and at the same time worse. My step-mother questioned Rooster to within an inch of his life. He was not amused.
Just before the reunion, my step-sister came to town. And I played host. Sort of. I stayed at Roosters.
I will revisit these stories to give more details at a later date. Hopefully not too far in the future.
--Little Bird has some 'splaining to do.
But I have some new stories.
Roosters parents, his mother specifically seems to like me. She stole a set of salt and pepper shakers from her sister-in-law for me. AND sent me three boxes of Jiffy Pop stove top popcorn. Michigan was nice, the drive wasn't overly long, and it all went well.
The family reunion (my family) was not as bad as it could have been, and at the same time worse. My step-mother questioned Rooster to within an inch of his life. He was not amused.
Just before the reunion, my step-sister came to town. And I played host. Sort of. I stayed at Roosters.
I will revisit these stories to give more details at a later date. Hopefully not too far in the future.
--Little Bird has some 'splaining to do.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
TMI warning
The cottonwoods have exploded. There is white fluff floating everywhere. And allergy sufferers are hiding inside. This one is anyway. This would be a perfectly acceptable situation if there weren't a completely different source of allergy hell in my living room. My mothers cats have come to stay for a bit. Mama Bird and her husband are having some work done in their place, so the furballs are with me. And yes, I am allergic to them. I have not allowed them into my room, preferring to have one place to breathe freely. Except, I can't breathe right now. At least not easily.
I should say that I love the cats. I do. No, really I DO. But... I hate not being able to breathe. And the constant itching isn't really all that much fun either.
I spent a good portion of today (and yesterday afternoon) polishing Mama Birds bookcases. With car wax. Since they are made of metal, the car wax is less odd than it sounds. It took awhile. And tomorrow I get to put the books back. All of them. Have I mentioned that they have roughly elebenty million books? Most of them huge? No? They do, and they are. The upside of this is I will be able to breathe while over there. I might be wheezing after a bit, but it won't have to do with allergies.
About a week ago Rooster and I went to St. Louis to visit a few of my childhood friends and go to a graduation ceremony. While we were there, we lucked into some last minute invites to a wedding. One of my high school classmates was getting married and the friend I was staying with was the matron of honor. It was a beautiful ceremony, and the reception was lovely. But they really should have really put a limit on the number of glasses of wine one was allowed to imbibe. If they had, no one would have been able to take a terribly embarrassing video of yours truly dancing. Other than the fact that I can't dance, my friends all learned that I need a better bra.
Oh, and Rooster caught the garter. Whatever that means.
---Little Bird is trying to breathe.
I should say that I love the cats. I do. No, really I DO. But... I hate not being able to breathe. And the constant itching isn't really all that much fun either.
I spent a good portion of today (and yesterday afternoon) polishing Mama Birds bookcases. With car wax. Since they are made of metal, the car wax is less odd than it sounds. It took awhile. And tomorrow I get to put the books back. All of them. Have I mentioned that they have roughly elebenty million books? Most of them huge? No? They do, and they are. The upside of this is I will be able to breathe while over there. I might be wheezing after a bit, but it won't have to do with allergies.
About a week ago Rooster and I went to St. Louis to visit a few of my childhood friends and go to a graduation ceremony. While we were there, we lucked into some last minute invites to a wedding. One of my high school classmates was getting married and the friend I was staying with was the matron of honor. It was a beautiful ceremony, and the reception was lovely. But they really should have really put a limit on the number of glasses of wine one was allowed to imbibe. If they had, no one would have been able to take a terribly embarrassing video of yours truly dancing. Other than the fact that I can't dance, my friends all learned that I need a better bra.
Oh, and Rooster caught the garter. Whatever that means.
---Little Bird is trying to breathe.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Good Deeds
Earlier this evening I went to the little convenience store in the building next to mine, for some mac & cheese (I was HUNGRY!)
I was standing in line holding my blue box of Kraft yumminess, and the guys ahead of me were asking a bunch of stupid questions and basically being idiots. Then some guy came up behind me and started putting his groceries on the counter, as if I weren't there at all. I was a little put off. And then one of the two idiots knocked a bottle of rum off the shelf. The clerk was WAAAAAYYYY too busy to take care of it, and I know him pretty well, so I went to the back and found a mop, a broom, and a "caution wet floor" sign. I mopped up the majority of the rum, swept up the bitty glass shards, and set up the sign. The clerk was so appreciative, he bought me a beer! I didn't do it for a reward. I didn't expect to get anything for it. But it was remarkably gratifying, nonetheless.
The farmers market (the one I like the most) opens Wednesday the 12th. The very same day I leave for St. Louis. I'm not worried, I'll catch it the next Wednesday, and hopefully I'll find morels. The one and only mushroom I like. I would like one of the most expensive mushrooms EVAR. Figures.
Plans for mothers day are under way. She wants a picnic. It's likely to rain though. But we have contingency plans.
--Little Bird is hoping for Morels
I was standing in line holding my blue box of Kraft yumminess, and the guys ahead of me were asking a bunch of stupid questions and basically being idiots. Then some guy came up behind me and started putting his groceries on the counter, as if I weren't there at all. I was a little put off. And then one of the two idiots knocked a bottle of rum off the shelf. The clerk was WAAAAAYYYY too busy to take care of it, and I know him pretty well, so I went to the back and found a mop, a broom, and a "caution wet floor" sign. I mopped up the majority of the rum, swept up the bitty glass shards, and set up the sign. The clerk was so appreciative, he bought me a beer! I didn't do it for a reward. I didn't expect to get anything for it. But it was remarkably gratifying, nonetheless.
The farmers market (the one I like the most) opens Wednesday the 12th. The very same day I leave for St. Louis. I'm not worried, I'll catch it the next Wednesday, and hopefully I'll find morels. The one and only mushroom I like. I would like one of the most expensive mushrooms EVAR. Figures.
Plans for mothers day are under way. She wants a picnic. It's likely to rain though. But we have contingency plans.
--Little Bird is hoping for Morels
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Warning, Blood Ahead
A couple of weeks ago I bought a new pair of shoes. Ballet flats, in the exact same shade of brown/tan as my beloved backpack. I match! The shoes are from Land's End, and very simple. They are also very stiff. I wore them for about 40 minutes the day after purchase and promptly ended up with a very large blister on my right heel. No biggie really, I expected it to happen. So when I wore them around the house again the other day and experienced no problems, I figured I was in the clear and could now wear them to go to a friends house. I figured wrong.
I got to my friends house and had to take off the shoes, something I would have done even if I hadn't given myself new blisters. I padded around barefoot for a bit and then sat down to look at some magazine and just happened to glance at the heel of my left foot. I didn't think that blisters bled. At least not that much. my whole heel except for the bottom was smeared with blood. My friend ran to get bandaids and ointment (which never stay on once the shoes go back on for some reason) and I ran to get paper towels. And to look at my shoe. The heel of it was full of blood. Blood had actually seeped out to the outside along one of the stitch lines, just a bit. I wiped the shoe (and my foot) off and applied the ointment and bandages, and stayed barefoot 'til I had to go home.
I walked home very slowly.
So now I need a few of those super-special types of bandaids, and a few pairs of trouser socks so I can break the shoes in before I go to St. Louis next month. Because, I WILL break those shoes in!!
In other news, a friend has purchased and now painted his brand new condo. And whoever put up the wallpaper we took down should have their eyes checked. It was that bad. Cream, tan, brown, and metallic silver. In the kitchen. And you should have seen what the paper in the bedroom closet looked like. Who wallpapers a closet? With criminally bad paper at that!?
Tomorrow a friend from back home comes into town. She'll be staying at my place while attending some kind of networking conference pertaining to radiology technicians. Thrilling stuff, I'm sure.
It appears spring has sprung, but I'm not so sure. I half expect a freak blizzard to sweep through Chicago and bury us all in 5 feet of snow.
--Little Bird is ready for spring
I got to my friends house and had to take off the shoes, something I would have done even if I hadn't given myself new blisters. I padded around barefoot for a bit and then sat down to look at some magazine and just happened to glance at the heel of my left foot. I didn't think that blisters bled. At least not that much. my whole heel except for the bottom was smeared with blood. My friend ran to get bandaids and ointment (which never stay on once the shoes go back on for some reason) and I ran to get paper towels. And to look at my shoe. The heel of it was full of blood. Blood had actually seeped out to the outside along one of the stitch lines, just a bit. I wiped the shoe (and my foot) off and applied the ointment and bandages, and stayed barefoot 'til I had to go home.
I walked home very slowly.
So now I need a few of those super-special types of bandaids, and a few pairs of trouser socks so I can break the shoes in before I go to St. Louis next month. Because, I WILL break those shoes in!!
In other news, a friend has purchased and now painted his brand new condo. And whoever put up the wallpaper we took down should have their eyes checked. It was that bad. Cream, tan, brown, and metallic silver. In the kitchen. And you should have seen what the paper in the bedroom closet looked like. Who wallpapers a closet? With criminally bad paper at that!?
Tomorrow a friend from back home comes into town. She'll be staying at my place while attending some kind of networking conference pertaining to radiology technicians. Thrilling stuff, I'm sure.
It appears spring has sprung, but I'm not so sure. I half expect a freak blizzard to sweep through Chicago and bury us all in 5 feet of snow.
--Little Bird is ready for spring
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