I was talking to my mother today about this blog. She reads it, and wonder of wonders she likes it. She's my mother, she kinda has to. Anyway, we were discussing what recipe I should do next. And the one we came up with I posted about 3 posts ago. So I will be posting something else entirely. Also she said I should post more often. And I had to ask what she thought I should post about. We bandied about a few ideas. The one we came up with is actually kinda funny.
So I'm going to tell you about the surgery I had when I was 21.
I had a tumor removed from a very delicate place. My butt. Those of you who are squeamish, you might want to stop now. I went to a doctors office for this procedure. It was not in a hospital. They seemed to think it was like having a mole removed. It was nothing like having a mole removed. It was quite possibly the most painful and humiliating experience of my life to date.
I made my mother come into the room with me and made her stay for the whole thing. I was terrified. I had never had anything like this done before.
So, I walk into this room and see what looks like a dentist's chair. Not an exam table. A chair. I am told to disrobe and lay face down on this chair. The doctor leaves so I can have a modicum of privacy (you will see why I think this ironic in about 3 seconds). When he comes back into the room, the door he came through NEVER LATCHED. It remained ever so slightly ajar for the entire thing. AND once or twice people poked their heads in to tell the doctor "something that couldn't wait". Meanwhile, by this point I am lying face down on this dentist's chair with... (wait for it)... my butt cheeks taped apart to the sides of the damned chair!!! Yeah, that tumor? It was right on the edge. I received 9 shots, in a circle around the area to numb it (HA!), which was in actuality 3 full syringes of numbing stuff (they never told me what exactly it was). My mom tells me I nearly broke her hand when they were giving me the shots. What she may not remember was when the doctor started walking towards me with a speculum. I looked back saw him holding it and said something along the lines of "WAIT!!! WHAT are you planning on doing with THAT???!!" To which he replied "Oh, don't worry, it's the same size as a penis." Yeah. Uh-huh. I told him that that may be the case but no penis had ever been there before and that I was hoping to keep it that way.
Now, as it turns out the doctor in question was best known for dealing with hemorrhoids. I did not have a hemorrhoid. He did tell me afterwards that I handled the whole thing MUCH better than most of his middle aged male patients. Small comfort after all that humiliation,
So now that I've thoroughly disgusted you (all three of you), I will refrain from posting a recipe today. That just wouldn't seem... right.
---Little Bird has stories that would curl your hair.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Turkey Day!
Hello everybody! I am a wee bit drunk right now! This forces me to use exclamation marks! For every sentence!
I cooked two thanksgiving dinners today. Two ENTIRE dinners. Turkeys, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, green beans, and stuffing. I did not bake pies because I made two freaking thanksgiving meals. AND I burned myself!! I am sore. I am tired. I will sleep like a rock tonight.
The first of the dinners was for the maintenance staff of my building. One of the guys who work here hired me to cook today. He bought all the ingredients. He did not have to work today, so he did not get any of the food that he laid out nearly $200 for. The crew today was only about 5 or so, so there was more than enough food. Out of all this work I got a frydaddy. Yes folks, I got my frydaddy. Deep fried green beans to come later. Duck fat french fries. Squash tempura. You get the idea.
I promised some people that I would post a veggie recipe and so I will. I was told I'd get extra credit for one that had no dairy, but... there is only so much I can do. You either get meat, or dairy. Occasionally you'll get both.
Mashed Sweet Potatoes
5 sweet potatoes
1 small sized container of sour cream 1/2 pint or so.
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 stick butter
Wrap potatoes in foil. Bake at 350 until the potatoes are soft when pierced with a fork, about 1/2 an hour.
Peel potatoes. In a bowl, mix potatoes with sour cream and heavy cream. Mash until smooth.
Spread mashed potatoes in a baking dish. Place pats of butter on the surface. Bake again for about 1/2 an hour.
Remove from oven and stir, blending the butter in.
I would like to point out that today, I did this with 10 lbs of potatoes.
-- Little Bird is stuffed
I cooked two thanksgiving dinners today. Two ENTIRE dinners. Turkeys, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, green beans, and stuffing. I did not bake pies because I made two freaking thanksgiving meals. AND I burned myself!! I am sore. I am tired. I will sleep like a rock tonight.
The first of the dinners was for the maintenance staff of my building. One of the guys who work here hired me to cook today. He bought all the ingredients. He did not have to work today, so he did not get any of the food that he laid out nearly $200 for. The crew today was only about 5 or so, so there was more than enough food. Out of all this work I got a frydaddy. Yes folks, I got my frydaddy. Deep fried green beans to come later. Duck fat french fries. Squash tempura. You get the idea.
I promised some people that I would post a veggie recipe and so I will. I was told I'd get extra credit for one that had no dairy, but... there is only so much I can do. You either get meat, or dairy. Occasionally you'll get both.
Mashed Sweet Potatoes
5 sweet potatoes
1 small sized container of sour cream 1/2 pint or so.
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 stick butter
Wrap potatoes in foil. Bake at 350 until the potatoes are soft when pierced with a fork, about 1/2 an hour.
Peel potatoes. In a bowl, mix potatoes with sour cream and heavy cream. Mash until smooth.
Spread mashed potatoes in a baking dish. Place pats of butter on the surface. Bake again for about 1/2 an hour.
Remove from oven and stir, blending the butter in.
I would like to point out that today, I did this with 10 lbs of potatoes.
-- Little Bird is stuffed
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sigh
Ok, never thought it was time. I never thought he was the "one". Not really at least. And we were so... polite about it. Amicable. No, we didn't actually say the words "let's still be friends", but the intent was there.
And the difference between boys and girls, wow! We react differently to things. I intend to watch a sad movie and cry. Because something has ended. Something that was nice and good. It wasn't meant to last too long, but it was nice while it lasted. He seemed fine with the whole thing. But, for all I know, he's doing the same thing tonight.
It was just nice to feel special for a while.
Bacon Vodka
1 lb bacon
1 750 ml bottle vodka
1 slightly larger bottle
Fry the bacon until crispy. Allow to drain, blotting if needed.
Pour 1/2 the vodka into the larger bottle. Add the bacon to the bottle. Add the remaining vodka, making sure to cover the bacon. Seal the bottle tightly.
Put the bottle in a dark cool place for 4 to 6 weeks.
Strain vodka through a sieve, to catch the bacon.
Strain the vodka again through coffee filters.
And once more through a britta filter. Do not use this filter again for anything.
Serve.
I recommend bloody marys. Or try a shot of it garnished with a grape tomato that has been wrapped in a bit of lettuce, it's a BLT!
--Little Bird has a sad
And the difference between boys and girls, wow! We react differently to things. I intend to watch a sad movie and cry. Because something has ended. Something that was nice and good. It wasn't meant to last too long, but it was nice while it lasted. He seemed fine with the whole thing. But, for all I know, he's doing the same thing tonight.
It was just nice to feel special for a while.
Bacon Vodka
1 lb bacon
1 750 ml bottle vodka
1 slightly larger bottle
Fry the bacon until crispy. Allow to drain, blotting if needed.
Pour 1/2 the vodka into the larger bottle. Add the bacon to the bottle. Add the remaining vodka, making sure to cover the bacon. Seal the bottle tightly.
Put the bottle in a dark cool place for 4 to 6 weeks.
Strain vodka through a sieve, to catch the bacon.
Strain the vodka again through coffee filters.
And once more through a britta filter. Do not use this filter again for anything.
Serve.
I recommend bloody marys. Or try a shot of it garnished with a grape tomato that has been wrapped in a bit of lettuce, it's a BLT!
--Little Bird has a sad
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Food, Glorious Food!
So a few of my friends here in town told me they enjoy the recipes I have included so far. And that I should include more of them. So for future reference I will try to include one every time I post.
This past weekend is mostly a blur, a somewhat drunken blur. I went to Happy Hour Club (that's what we call it) on Friday. It was at the usual place, and most of the usual faces were there. Afterwards we all ended up at M's place (as per usual), and continued to drink. After that things get hazy. I took the bus home. I left my purse at M's house. Along with my hat. This Friday's plans are much more tame. Back to M's house, to have a craft night. She's making Christmas cards, I'll probably work on a cross-stitch piece for a friend, and J said something about getting her Christmas stuff together too. Wine will be had, food will be eaten and crafts will be made. It may not sound glamorous, but it's fun with friends and that is all that matters.
Winter is on it's way and I don't like it one little bit. It's cold. It's rainy. And grey. I think I picked up a bug somewhere, as I feel like blah. My head hurts, I ache, and I just want to sleep for about a month. The two bright spots that are coming up are Thanksgiving and Christmas. The first because a friend from St. Louis is coming in, and I don't get to see her nearly enough. Also because I got a catering gig for that night too. Christmas because I get to go to New Mexico again! A week out in the middle of nowhere! I'll go to Ojo Caliente! And Taos! I will get to spend time relaxing and just enjoying the atmosphere. I can't wait.
Spicy Roast Chicken with Tomatoes and Marjoram
4-6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
4 Cups grape tomatoes, halved lengthwise
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tablespoons fresh marjoram, minced
1 1/4 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Put tomatoes in a large bowl, mix in marjoram, red pepper flakes, garlic and olive oil. Cover tightly and chill over night.
Preheat oven to 450 f. In a roasting pan, lay out chicken breasts and cover with tomato mixture, keeping tomatoes in a single layer.
Roast for about 35 minutes.
Serve with tomatoes over the top.
Note: I prefer to serve this over acini de pepe, a pasta similar to cous cous.
--Little Bird bets you think this post is about you.
This past weekend is mostly a blur, a somewhat drunken blur. I went to Happy Hour Club (that's what we call it) on Friday. It was at the usual place, and most of the usual faces were there. Afterwards we all ended up at M's place (as per usual), and continued to drink. After that things get hazy. I took the bus home. I left my purse at M's house. Along with my hat. This Friday's plans are much more tame. Back to M's house, to have a craft night. She's making Christmas cards, I'll probably work on a cross-stitch piece for a friend, and J said something about getting her Christmas stuff together too. Wine will be had, food will be eaten and crafts will be made. It may not sound glamorous, but it's fun with friends and that is all that matters.
Winter is on it's way and I don't like it one little bit. It's cold. It's rainy. And grey. I think I picked up a bug somewhere, as I feel like blah. My head hurts, I ache, and I just want to sleep for about a month. The two bright spots that are coming up are Thanksgiving and Christmas. The first because a friend from St. Louis is coming in, and I don't get to see her nearly enough. Also because I got a catering gig for that night too. Christmas because I get to go to New Mexico again! A week out in the middle of nowhere! I'll go to Ojo Caliente! And Taos! I will get to spend time relaxing and just enjoying the atmosphere. I can't wait.
Spicy Roast Chicken with Tomatoes and Marjoram
4-6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
4 Cups grape tomatoes, halved lengthwise
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tablespoons fresh marjoram, minced
1 1/4 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Put tomatoes in a large bowl, mix in marjoram, red pepper flakes, garlic and olive oil. Cover tightly and chill over night.
Preheat oven to 450 f. In a roasting pan, lay out chicken breasts and cover with tomato mixture, keeping tomatoes in a single layer.
Roast for about 35 minutes.
Serve with tomatoes over the top.
Note: I prefer to serve this over acini de pepe, a pasta similar to cous cous.
--Little Bird bets you think this post is about you.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Yes We Did
WOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!
I can breathe again! I was finally able to heave that sigh of relief. That breath I was holding while I waited for this moment to come. We did it. We as a country finally made a group decision that doesn't suck. We elected the right person for the job. We took a giant leap forward. Maybe now the other countries won't point and laugh at us any more. Maybe now, we can begin to get out of this hole we put ourselves in.
I stayed up to watch the goings-on on TV. I cheered for every state that went blue. When they announced the winner, I cried. I was that happy. And that excited. I had to go outside and run a few laps around my building, I was that excited. I can only hope that this is the start of something amazing. And that everyone will recognize it for the change for the better that it is.
--Little Bird is relieved
I can breathe again! I was finally able to heave that sigh of relief. That breath I was holding while I waited for this moment to come. We did it. We as a country finally made a group decision that doesn't suck. We elected the right person for the job. We took a giant leap forward. Maybe now the other countries won't point and laugh at us any more. Maybe now, we can begin to get out of this hole we put ourselves in.
I stayed up to watch the goings-on on TV. I cheered for every state that went blue. When they announced the winner, I cried. I was that happy. And that excited. I had to go outside and run a few laps around my building, I was that excited. I can only hope that this is the start of something amazing. And that everyone will recognize it for the change for the better that it is.
--Little Bird is relieved
Monday, November 3, 2008
One More Day
CURRENT EVENTS
History will be made tomorrow. No matter what the outcome is, history will have been made. I can't wait for it all to be over. The stress is really getting to be a bit much. I'm on pins and needles, and have been for sometime now. I want to know NOW!! My mother is addicted to reading her political blogs, to the point where she just can't tear herself away from them if she's at home. This topic of politics has dominated conversations for MONTHS. And after tomorrow, we'll hash, and re-hash what the winner did right, and what the loser did wrong. Ad nauseam.
HALLOWEEN
So, I was a barfly. It's an older costume of mine that I still had the parts to. Wings and antennae made of itty bitty Jack Daniels bottles. Other than that I wore all black. Thank what ever higher power responsible for it, but the weather was perfect!! I didn't have to wear a coat, and was actually almost too warm in my turtle-neck sweater. The parties were a blast, I saw so many great costumes I don't remember them all. Once I figure out how to post those damned pictures, I'll be able to show what mine looked like.
FOOD
Ok, last night (afternoon) I made a lavender scented roast chicken. OH. MY. GOD. This is my new favorite way to prepare chicken! It was amazing. Basically you take Herbes de Provence, and a tiny bit of lavender, some grey sea salt and one minced clove of garlic and pat that on the bird. Quarter one red onion and shove it into the bird. Roast at 375f for an hour and a half. I put potatoes and carrots and pearl onions around it. I think I died and went to heaven. I am going to alter this slightly and roast a turkey this way for Thanksgiving. Yummmm.
--Little Bird is stuffed
History will be made tomorrow. No matter what the outcome is, history will have been made. I can't wait for it all to be over. The stress is really getting to be a bit much. I'm on pins and needles, and have been for sometime now. I want to know NOW!! My mother is addicted to reading her political blogs, to the point where she just can't tear herself away from them if she's at home. This topic of politics has dominated conversations for MONTHS. And after tomorrow, we'll hash, and re-hash what the winner did right, and what the loser did wrong. Ad nauseam.
HALLOWEEN
So, I was a barfly. It's an older costume of mine that I still had the parts to. Wings and antennae made of itty bitty Jack Daniels bottles. Other than that I wore all black. Thank what ever higher power responsible for it, but the weather was perfect!! I didn't have to wear a coat, and was actually almost too warm in my turtle-neck sweater. The parties were a blast, I saw so many great costumes I don't remember them all. Once I figure out how to post those damned pictures, I'll be able to show what mine looked like.
FOOD
Ok, last night (afternoon) I made a lavender scented roast chicken. OH. MY. GOD. This is my new favorite way to prepare chicken! It was amazing. Basically you take Herbes de Provence, and a tiny bit of lavender, some grey sea salt and one minced clove of garlic and pat that on the bird. Quarter one red onion and shove it into the bird. Roast at 375f for an hour and a half. I put potatoes and carrots and pearl onions around it. I think I died and went to heaven. I am going to alter this slightly and roast a turkey this way for Thanksgiving. Yummmm.
--Little Bird is stuffed
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
