Season's Greetings

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
I hope you and yours have had a good one, and that the New Year is happy and bright for all.
I'm having pizza rolls and beer tonight- and I'M THRILLED TO BE DOING SO!!!!!!



---Little Bird is taking it easy tonight!

More Ketchup

So, it's been awhile. I've been both busy and not so busy. I've had no idea what to post. I'm thinking of going back to recipes, but not just yet.
This year's Christmas does not involve traveling to New Mexico. We are all staying home. And my step-sister is coming in to celebrate with us the day after Christmas. The day after that, I go to St. Louis to visit with a friend. And yes, I will be traveling by train. How else would I go?
Gift purchasing has been interesting. I still have to get Mama Bird and her husband. And one more gift for Whirly Bird. I have one of hers, and one each for my step sister and her daughter. I can't tell what they are here, as some of the involved folks read this.
There have been some problems with the tumors, and if they act up again in the next few weeks an appointment will be made. I will not go into detail here except to say that I have had surgery in the affected area before, and it was NOT fun. And that it was kinda gross. I'm sure I've discussed it here before.
It's cold here, and gearing up for another round of snow. Which is kind of sad tonight. There is supposed to be a lunar eclipse tonight. The first in 372 years to coincide with the Solstice. And it's overcast. Figures.


--Little Bird is preparing for the holiday

End of an Era

Sometimes, things don't work out. Sometimes, things end. Sometimes, they were good while they lasted. Sometimes, you get to keep good memories. Sometimes, it's time to say goodbye.
Rooster and I have broken up. It was my choice, and I'm sorry it hurt him. But sometimes, it's just not there anymore.

--Little Bird is solo, again

Happy Halloween!

For the first year in I don't know how long, I'm not dressing up for Halloween. I just don't have the energy. Or the money so it kind of worked out. Last night Rooster and I went to Old St. Andrews Inn, a purportedly haunted bar here in Chicago. We didn't see any ghosts, but the food was pretty good and the beers just kept comin'. Word to the wise, Elephant beer by Carlsberg is on the strong side, and more than three of them might not be for the lightweights. Not that I am by any stretch of the imagination a lightweight. The bar also had live music and the band was pretty darned good. I would go back, and probably will.
Tonight I'll be watching either a scary movie or one of the multiple ghost hunter type shows on cable. Of course, I may just watch Abbot and Costello meet Frankenstein again.


--Little Bird is over the hangover

Succotash

The newest things to report: A heart healthy cooking program, My folks finally get a decent TV, and I start yet another new medicine.
Okay, first things first. My step-father is battling high cholesterol so he wanted some healthy foods for dinners. And he doesn't want it to cost an arm and a leg. My folks had been buying stuff from the prepared foods section of Whole Foods, and that was pretty pricey. So I spent a day or two searching the internet looking for tasty sounding/looking recipes for him. I found around 30. I already had 10, so I think he's set for the next month. Seriously, I could cook one different thing every day and not repeat for well over a month (Sundays I get to be a little less strict about the menu). This ought to be interesting. I figure that by the end of winter, I'll be very very good when it comes to cooking vegetables. Very good. Due to practice alone.

The TV. For years my parents have been making do with a giant obsolete tube tv. The picture was fuzzy. The sound was awful. So they bought a new one. A flat screen! AND a blu-ray player!!! The picture is amazing. The SOUND is incredible. A few months ago my step-father accidentally purchased a few blu-ray disks (he didn't realize that they wouldn't play on the DVD player), so we popped one of those in to see the picture quality. One of the things that a person might never really want to see in the clearest possible picture is an extreme close up of Keith Richards' face. I'm just sayin'.

The pills. Tomorrow I start a generic version of Prozac. Budeprion has been relatively kind to me, but it costs over $100 a month and I don't have insurance to help with it. This new medicine is under $20 a month. The citalopram was less than $5, but the side effects were unacceptable. I read the side effects listed for this new pill, and they aren't all that great either, but they are also not evident in EVERY patient. Of course, they weren't for the last one either, but hey, I'll try it. If it helps, and doesn't cause painful or embarrassing side effects, I'll stick with it.

---Little Bird will be cooking up a storm!

Just a Note

Hello everyone! Today's post is from New Mexico. It is sunny and cool and Mama Bird's B-day party was a rousing success. No cell service up here though. So if you haven't gotten a call from me (assuming you were expecting one) I can't do it.
Okay, on to the other thing I wanted to address. This is a blog. It is sort of an on-line diary. If you are not interested in the goings on in my life, you are not required to read it. However, if you're going to comment about how no one wants to hear/read about my issues, have the balls to sign your goddamned name. Even if it is a screen name. If you feel the need to say something, clearly you care. Also, if you know I won't publish it due to the fact that you are a fucking asshole, why comment at all?


--Little Bird says FY,YFF!

Irritations

Hello! I'm back! I know I've been gone for what seems like forever. There have been... issues. Boy HOWDY, have there been issues. Let's start with the biggest one.
Several months ago I started a new medication. One that was supposed to help regulate mood and keep the brain chemistry in the right balance. I suppose it did those things, but at some expense. The list of side effects that came with the meds was daunting. And I ended up with some of the most awful ones. Extreme lethargy (we're talking tired ALL THE TIME). Increased sweating (as if I didn't already sweat too much). And last but certainly not least, diarrhea. Unpredictable, explosive, and extremely unpleasant.
The reasons I switched to it were because I wasn't happy with the medication I had been taking and also the new one was only $4. As opposed to the $96 I had previously been paying.
I stopped taking my meds. I stopped because I was tired of being tired. Because I couldn't go anywhere for several hours after taking it for fear of shitting my pants. I stopped taking them and then things started to get bad.
I got... irritable. Irritable like just-woken-up-haven't-had-caffeine-yet-PMS times like a thousand. It was... not fun for me. I can't imagine that I was much fun to be around. I wasn't sleeping well. I gained twenty pounds (which only irritated me more).
So the other day Mama Bird and I were discussing this and I made an appointment with my doctor. I get to see her in two weeks. In the mean time I'm going to New Mexico. A twenty four hour train ride sounds like just the thing for an irritated mess, right? Two days after I made the appointment it dawned on me that I could call my doctor and ask her if she could phone in a prescription of my OLD meds so that I wouldn't kill anyone on the train. She did and I've been taking them for five or six days now. Already things are better.
The meds I'm taking now are actually different from the old old ones. Before I was taking two pills in the morning and they were sustained release. This meant that I was getting a double dose in the morning and petered out to nothing in the evenings. The NEW old meds are the same drug, but one pill that is also sustained release, but sustained for the whole day.
The new meds cost $117 a month, and that's not great, but at least I'm no more irritated than the next person now.

I think I've explained the whole brain chemistry thing as it pertains to me before here, but I'm gonna do it again.
I have Neurofibromatosis (NF). And a non-verbal learning disorder (NLD). Because of the NF, the nerves in my brain are slightly compromised. Imagine that nerves are like electrical wires, and those wires have that protective sheath insulating them. Okay, the insulation on the wires in my brain? Full of holes. It's not supposed to be like that. Because it's like that, I use more of a specific brain chemical than I make. Because of all that, I have the NLD. Fun isn't it? The meds I take balance all that out. They slow down my re-uptake of the chemical, so there's enough to go around.
At least that's how I understand it. But my brain is wired weird, so I might be wrong,

It's possible that my lack of posting has been because of the imbalance I've been experiencing. We'll see.

--Little Bird is (re)medicated

Wherein I Wax Nostalgic

This evening, rather late, I was struck with this indescribable urge to go outside. No reason. I just needed to go outside. So I did. And when I stepped outside the doors, I was struck. By the air. The smell, the sensation, the sounds. It's warm, but not hot. And the smell, ... have you ever put something made of iron in your mouth and tasted that sharp tang? That's what it smells like outside right now. It's humid, but not too humid. There's a certain sense of nostalgia outside right now that I can't really explain. It smells green outside. I don't know how to explain it. I love it. It is soooo nice outside that I would love to sleep outside if I could. If I could without being crawled over by about a million spiders.
Something about the quality about the air outside reminds me of being a kid. Nothing specific about being that kid, just being there. I cannot explain it - I know I said that already - but it's true.
It's like I'm here, in this moment, experiencing life. Being there, in life. So much of each day just goes by and I don't really think about it. But there are moments, like tonight outside, where you really feel life. I'm here in this moment and I am. Even the sounds of the night are important somehow. The dull rumble of traffic. The faint hum of insects. The even fainter hum of the air-conditioner condensers from all the nearby buildings. There are people out and about, talking. You can't hear what they are saying, just the babble of voices. But quiet-like. If I had better words to describe it, I'd use them.

--Little Bird is... in the moment

Ketchup

So, yeah... umm... I've been gone awhile. No real reason for it. I haven't been super busy. I did go to a family reunion. But that was just this past Sunday. And Rooster and I went to go visit his parents in Michigan a couple of weeks ago for a weekend. But that still doesn't explain my absence.
But I have some new stories.
Roosters parents, his mother specifically seems to like me. She stole a set of salt and pepper shakers from her sister-in-law for me. AND sent me three boxes of Jiffy Pop stove top popcorn. Michigan was nice, the drive wasn't overly long, and it all went well.
The family reunion (my family) was not as bad as it could have been, and at the same time worse. My step-mother questioned Rooster to within an inch of his life. He was not amused.
Just before the reunion, my step-sister came to town. And I played host. Sort of. I stayed at Roosters.
I will revisit these stories to give more details at a later date. Hopefully not too far in the future.


--Little Bird has some 'splaining to do.

TMI warning

The cottonwoods have exploded. There is white fluff floating everywhere. And allergy sufferers are hiding inside. This one is anyway. This would be a perfectly acceptable situation if there weren't a completely different source of allergy hell in my living room. My mothers cats have come to stay for a bit. Mama Bird and her husband are having some work done in their place, so the furballs are with me. And yes, I am allergic to them. I have not allowed them into my room, preferring to have one place to breathe freely. Except, I can't breathe right now. At least not easily.
I should say that I love the cats. I do. No, really I DO. But... I hate not being able to breathe. And the constant itching isn't really all that much fun either.
I spent a good portion of today (and yesterday afternoon) polishing Mama Birds bookcases. With car wax. Since they are made of metal, the car wax is less odd than it sounds. It took awhile. And tomorrow I get to put the books back. All of them. Have I mentioned that they have roughly elebenty million books? Most of them huge? No? They do, and they are. The upside of this is I will be able to breathe while over there. I might be wheezing after a bit, but it won't have to do with allergies.
About a week ago Rooster and I went to St. Louis to visit a few of my childhood friends and go to a graduation ceremony. While we were there, we lucked into some last minute invites to a wedding. One of my high school classmates was getting married and the friend I was staying with was the matron of honor. It was a beautiful ceremony, and the reception was lovely. But they really should have really put a limit on the number of glasses of wine one was allowed to imbibe. If they had, no one would have been able to take a terribly embarrassing video of yours truly dancing. Other than the fact that I can't dance, my friends all learned that I need a better bra.
Oh, and Rooster caught the garter. Whatever that means.
---Little Bird is trying to breathe.

Good Deeds

Earlier this evening I went to the little convenience store in the building next to mine, for some mac & cheese (I was HUNGRY!)
I was standing in line holding my blue box of Kraft yumminess, and the guys ahead of me were asking a bunch of stupid questions and basically being idiots. Then some guy came up behind me and started putting his groceries on the counter, as if I weren't there at all. I was a little put off. And then one of the two idiots knocked a bottle of rum off the shelf. The clerk was WAAAAAYYYY too busy to take care of it, and I know him pretty well, so I went to the back and found a mop, a broom, and a "caution wet floor" sign. I mopped up the majority of the rum, swept up the bitty glass shards, and set up the sign. The clerk was so appreciative, he bought me a beer! I didn't do it for a reward. I didn't expect to get anything for it. But it was remarkably gratifying, nonetheless.
The farmers market (the one I like the most) opens Wednesday the 12th. The very same day I leave for St. Louis. I'm not worried, I'll catch it the next Wednesday, and hopefully I'll find morels. The one and only mushroom I like. I would like one of the most expensive mushrooms EVAR. Figures.
Plans for mothers day are under way. She wants a picnic. It's likely to rain though. But we have contingency plans.


--Little Bird is hoping for Morels

Warning, Blood Ahead

A couple of weeks ago I bought a new pair of shoes. Ballet flats, in the exact same shade of brown/tan as my beloved backpack. I match! The shoes are from Land's End, and very simple. They are also very stiff. I wore them for about 40 minutes the day after purchase and promptly ended up with a very large blister on my right heel. No biggie really, I expected it to happen. So when I wore them around the house again the other day and experienced no problems, I figured I was in the clear and could now wear them to go to a friends house. I figured wrong.
I got to my friends house and had to take off the shoes, something I would have done even if I hadn't given myself new blisters. I padded around barefoot for a bit and then sat down to look at some magazine and just happened to glance at the heel of my left foot. I didn't think that blisters bled. At least not that much. my whole heel except for the bottom was smeared with blood. My friend ran to get bandaids and ointment (which never stay on once the shoes go back on for some reason) and I ran to get paper towels. And to look at my shoe. The heel of it was full of blood. Blood had actually seeped out to the outside along one of the stitch lines, just a bit. I wiped the shoe (and my foot) off and applied the ointment and bandages, and stayed barefoot 'til I had to go home.
I walked home very slowly.
So now I need a few of those super-special types of bandaids, and a few pairs of trouser socks so I can break the shoes in before I go to St. Louis next month. Because, I WILL break those shoes in!!
In other news, a friend has purchased and now painted his brand new condo. And whoever put up the wallpaper we took down should have their eyes checked. It was that bad. Cream, tan, brown, and metallic silver. In the kitchen. And you should have seen what the paper in the bedroom closet looked like. Who wallpapers a closet? With criminally bad paper at that!?
Tomorrow a friend from back home comes into town. She'll be staying at my place while attending some kind of networking conference pertaining to radiology technicians. Thrilling stuff, I'm sure.
It appears spring has sprung, but I'm not so sure. I half expect a freak blizzard to sweep through Chicago and bury us all in 5 feet of snow.

--Little Bird is ready for spring

Family, the ones who love you (supposedly)

I have this aunt. She lives in Texas. I could probably stop there and at least two or three of you who know me would completely understand. But, for the other six or seven of you, I'll fill you in. The day after the health care bill was passed I called her to find out how badly she was taking it. See, she's VERY republican and religious to boot. She was not taking it well. In fact, she was in a bit of a tizzy. She thinks it is the very worst thing in the world, as now women will be able to get federally funded abortions. I don't think she has reliable information on the subject, else she wouldn't use that as her first argument against reform. When I reminded her that this bill means that now I can get insurance she said (and I quote) "I don't care about that". She went on to say that her husbands Medicare would be cut drastically as a result of this reform. And that she was tired of paying for other people's health care. Then she hung up on me.
Now remember, she's a very religious and LOVING person. Uh-huh. Suuuuuure. If she says so.
One of my other aunts is trying a different tack. She seems to be bent on driving Mama Bird into a crazed fit because the bill didn't go into effect (for me) RIGHT AWAY. She (the aunt) said she'd be mad if it didn't. She (also the aunt) voted for all the folks who were AGAINST HRC, and didn't want it passed in the first place.
Come July first I should be able to procure insurance. I cannot be denied. Legally. Because of my pre-existing condition I qualify for some help getting that insurance. I'm looking forward to feeling a bit more secure, and less stressed about the what-ifs surrounding my well being. I'm already less stressed about the whole thing.


--Little Bird gets more political every day.

Blah, blah, blah....

The drowsiness, it has not gone away. The nausea has gotten worse, though that's not a trade-off.
Things otherwise continue to do well. I have a guest coming into town in about a month, from St. Louis. So maybe she'll bring some of the coveted crack chips (I hope, I hope, I hope). I told her that's what I would charge her for giving her a place to stay for the weekend while she attends some kind of workshop. And the following month, I go to St. Louis. That same friend is graduating so Rooster and I are going, both to attend the ceremony and to buy crack chips. Once again it means a train trip. I'm getting better and better at planning these trips. I'm taking less and less stuff with me. This time it'll be a couple of long skirts, one pair of jeans and one pair of work-out pants. And only two pair of shoes. Of course there'll be the toiletry kit and undergarments and food to be brought along, just working on paring it all down a bit. I will also of course be bringing shirts. One cannot go to a commencement ceremony topless, that would be tacky.
You may have noticed I said "Rooster and I", yes he and I are doing well. Things couldn't be better actually! We spend quite a bit of time together, both at his place and at mine. I just can't wait 'til the weather warms up and we can get from one place to another without freezing. Also, there are more things that we can do around town when the weather is warmer. Picnics, walks, the beach, the park. When it's cold, all we want to do is watch movies. Inside. Cuddled under blankets. Which, don't get me wrong, is great fun! But we need to get out of the house every so often!
Last night was one of Chicago's sanctioned nights of drinking. I went out. I was home before midnight. It was kinda lame. There were a lot of people who just don't know how to hold their liquor. There are a lot of people who must have woken up hungover this morning. I wonder how many of them called in sick?

--Little Bird is getting that packing list ready

Ketchup

Sorry about the prolonged absence. There has been all kinds of stuff going on. And some of it just couldn't be bandied about on the interwebs at the time.
First Rooster and I broke up. We later got back together and things are now better than ever!!!
Then I started a new medication. Which I was able to get at Target for $4!!! No more paying $94 a month for meds!
But! That new medication? Has some... interesting side effects. One of them is drowsiness. And today my dosage doubled (the doctor wanted to sort of "stair-step" me to the "right" dosage). So even though I'm practically mainlining caffeine, I still could sleep for a day or three.
Closets have been cleaned.
Dinner with the folks AND Rooster has been had. (Everyone survived)
More on some of these topics later. I think I need a nap.

--Little Bird has not fallen off the face of the planet

iClean

I found out the other day that it might be possible to for me to hook my busted laptop up to my television set. All I need are some cables and maybe an adapter. Which I may already have. This will only work if the problem is in the screen and not the video card. I'm hoping for a $40 fix, instead of a $400 fix.
I think I also found out that I may be a touch OCD. If only in VERY slow cycles. I spent a goodly portion of yesterday clearing out a few drawers and organizing my movies. And my jewelry box. And then I made a schedule of when I'll clean what in the next week or so. I also have this odd desire to start scrapbooking. Something I've never been interested in before. A therapist would likely tell me that all this is some kind of attempt to impose order on my life. What you have to understand is, I hate cleaning. I hate organizing. Dunno why. Just do. The drawers in my room are usually catch-alls for all the random pieces of paper I accumulate. And pens. And cards. And beads etc. etc. (This is also likely some deeply rooted subconscious need being filled in some way.) I only get into organization mode once or twice a year. And usually it's not me who initiates it.
What's amusing to me about this is, this time I've been able to see it. And parse it. And even though I think I know what's going on, I still have the urge to organize. Maybe I should start doing some of this at night, since I'm not really sleeping anyway. Maybe I'll be done in under a week that way! Since getting up this morning I've already cleaned out two more drawers and plan on getting the rest of that set done today/tonight. Next up, the book drawer (under the bed and not in any way part of the drawer set I am currently working on).


--Little Bird is organizing... again

Verizon sucks, part III

It just keeps getting worse. Now they say that there were TWO phones charged to us!! TWO equipment fees!! PLUS late fees and taxes on all of that stuff!!! That's right, taxes on items that we never ordered AND had removed from our bill. They seemed to think we should still pay the tax on the item even though the item did get removed. They say our bill is well over a thousand dollars now. So, Mama Bird had a rather lengthy conversation with someone over at Verizon's offices. We think we have it cleared up. We're still waiting on that bill. And they know for a fact that we will be taking our business elsewhere.
We think the second phone thing is a clerical screw-up due entirely to reporting it. That, or they're trying to get us to pay for as much as they can (real or invented) because they know we're dropping them. Either way, it sucks.
Learn from this fiasco, do NOT sign up with Verizon!!

--Little Bird is tired of it all.

Verizon sucks, part two

So, the fraud department was supposed to take care of the problem and they seemed to do so. I stopped getting texts threatening to shut off my service at least. Until yesterday. I got the text and called Mama Bird. Needless to say she got a little upset and her voice rose a few octaves while we were talking. She called Verizon and lit into them. They had an explanation. Of COURSE they had an explanation. That explanation was in a word LAME. They said that the bill was actually somewhere around $500 because of an "equipment" fee. This is a fee that gets applied when you order a device and don't activate it. But, let's remember... we didn't order any device in the first place. Then they tell us that we have some late fees to deal with. But we STILL haven't gotten our bill!! It turns out that they either didn't change our shipping and billing address back to what it should be, or they did so incorrectly.
We are not going to have to pay any late fees. We did get that cleared up. I think. I hope. And as soon as that bill is paid, we are all getting new phones with a new provider.

There is other stuff going on as well, but nothing I can talk about here really.


--Little Bird anticipates an iPhone (maybe)

Verizon SUCKS!

If you have a Verizon contract, you may be interested to know what has recently transpired in this birds nest. I have been getting phone calls and texts from Verizon, telling me that Mama Bird owes them lots of money. She hasn't been getting the calls, I have. And the person I spoke to wanted me to give them Mama Birds credit card number! As if I would a) have the credit card number and b) give it to ANYONE! As it appears, someone hacked her contract. Someone changed her shipping and billing address and then ordered a blackberry. The blackberry was shipped but never activated. That happened in November. Whoever did this did it via phone. To do this they had to know her account number, and her social. When Mama Bird tried to clear this up (via phone) she was told that she had to come in and show proof of identity, keep in mind whoever did all the changing did it via phone. This was a few days ago when it was FREAKING cold outside. And this little trip to the Verizon store took two hours. And nothing could be done until yesterday because the fraud department was closed for the weekend. Now, the blackberry has been blocked and can never be activated because Verizon did something using the blackberry's serial numbers. BUT the fact remains that the contract itself is not all that safe. My step father's contract and mine are just about up, for us to transfer to a different carrier will cost us nothing. For Mama Bird however, they want to charge her $155 to get out of her contract.
Mama Bird did some research and got the address to which the blackberry was sent. IT'S A VACANT LOT. So if the blackberry did get sent, who received it? And why didn't they activate it in NOVEMBER? We think it's an inside job. They would have access to her info and could do this fairly easily.
Verizon should let her end her contract WITHOUT incurring a fee, since this is an error on their part. We haven't heard back from the fraud department yet. They say it will take at least two weeks to clear up. This is unacceptable. At best we expect to not have to pay for the blackberry and any late fees having to do with unpaid bills, as we never got the damned bills BECAUSE SOMEONE CHANGED THE BILLING ADDRESS!
Needless to say, Mama Bird has been a little upset lately.
On a lighter note, Mama Bird, my stepfather and myself had my birthday dinner this past Sunday evening. We had spicy southwest steak tar-tare, a great big southwest style salad, guacamole and chips. It was delicious! I was given an apron from a restaurant in Santa Fe, Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" and another cookbook titled "How to Cook Everything". That last book has 2,000 recipes in it. I think I'll be set for some time now!

--Little Bird is going to be cooking up a storm

Satisfaction, I Got Some

It's a bright sun shiny first day of the new year! Also, it's cold. Really cold. There's ice on the lake cold.
Last night was a nice quiet evening spent inside watching movies. And opening birthday gifts. My birthday is tomorrow, but Rooster thought I should open them last night. Season one of "True Blood", a collector's edition of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", a set of salt and pepper shakers (green glass George Washington busts) and a CD from Starbucks (covered with thousands of teeny tiny birds). I'm very close to starting the "True Blood" marathon, and will now have to go find season two so I can stay current.
My father sent me a gift too. This is nothing short of amazing since we don't have the best of relationships. Mama Bird can attest to that being the understatement of the century. Anyway, my father sent me a set of Melmac (trademarked) cafeteria style (think 50's or 60's) tea/coffee cups, saucers, and dessert plates with a sugar bowl and creamer. It's all this great shade of lime green that will actually go perfectly with all my orange stuff. It's really cute and I love it!
I don't have any resolutions, I would likely break them in a week anyway. But I can say that already, this year is better than the last. Last year this time, I was alone. Last year this time I was depressed. This year I have someone to share time with, someone to watch movies with. Someone to just BE with. It's nice.
Last year's depression had little to do with being alone, and everything to do with being dissatisfied. Dissatisfied in general. The last part of this past year has been great, and it looks to only get better.
So I hope that everyone had a great New Year's, and that the coming year is the best one yet for everyone.

--Little Bird is satisfied