Ok, I'm cheating here. This is something I wrote July 4th, of last year. I found it yesterday while I was going through my files. I thought I would share.
The other day I was talking with my cousin and a friend about music. Elvis to be exact. The friend said something along the lines of how Elvis, while great, started out by using other peoples music and style. My cousin said that Elvis was America. That's right, she said he WAS America. My initial response to this was "You mean the guy who got fat, was a total druggie and ended up dead on the crapper." Yes, I actually said crapper.
She took offense to my remark. She had meant that he started out poor, worked hard and lived the american dream. Hmmmm.... the american dream huh? I'm not buying it. But I stand by MY analogy. Think about it. Yeah when he was young and just starting out you could argue that he was good. Great even. Then he got celebrity. And money. And with those things came sycophants. Those guys who toady up to the rich and famous. Let's not forget the folks who waved a few drugs around at him. He did drugs, we all knew that. Whether it was the drugs or the sycophants that encouraged the gold lame jumpsuits and made him blind to his ever increasing girth we'll never know. Even his art suffered. His best stuff is from his youth. But the point is he ended up fat, drugged out, and dead on a toilet.
Now, for how that relates to the U.S. In it's youth america was...well... not the best of nations considering the native americans, but for a period of time, say in my grand parents time, patriotism was paramount. We were on top of the world. THE world leader. We had the best schools. We were healthy. It was all God and Country.
Then we let it go to our head. We thought ourselves invincible. Our power became our drug. We as a society got fat. And lazy. And as tacky as a gold lame jumpsuit. We are now the laughing stock of the planet. They call us "ugly americans" . Because we are so ethnocentric it IS laughable.
Now we have an administration that is trying to run the country like a corporation. And the person at the head of this "corporation" has sent how many previous corporations where? Down the toilet.
--Little Bird will now get off her soapbox
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Bars and Desks, and Orange
Hello!! I have been remiss, I know. I would like to say that I've been busy. I would like to, but I can't. While I did work last night, that was the first night I have been out of the house for more than one hour in more than a week. I'm not sick any more. Well, at least I'm not hacking up a lung anymore.
After work I went to another bar, ostensibly to go wait for a cab. I was there 'till it closed. A few beers and into a cab to come home. To sleep. Don't I have an exciting life? Don't you wish YOU had this kind of excitment?
In other news I'm trying to sell my desk. And the desk chair. I have waaaaaaayy to much furniture in my room. And nowhere else to put it. So sell it. I plan on getting a floor lamp and a bedside shelving unit thing once the room is reconfigured. If I could I would paint the walls. One of them anyway. Orange.
If you could re-do a room in your place what would you do??
--Little Bird is living the high life
After work I went to another bar, ostensibly to go wait for a cab. I was there 'till it closed. A few beers and into a cab to come home. To sleep. Don't I have an exciting life? Don't you wish YOU had this kind of excitment?
In other news I'm trying to sell my desk. And the desk chair. I have waaaaaaayy to much furniture in my room. And nowhere else to put it. So sell it. I plan on getting a floor lamp and a bedside shelving unit thing once the room is reconfigured. If I could I would paint the walls. One of them anyway. Orange.
If you could re-do a room in your place what would you do??
--Little Bird is living the high life
Saturday, February 23, 2008
It All Depends On What You're Buying
RIDDLE ME THIS
When you go to the grocery store and buy the largest box of mac & cheese, they call it FAMILY SIZE
When you buy the largest box of crackers it's ........................FAMILY SIZE
When you buy the largest bag of chips they have dubb............PARTY SIZE
When you buy the mega box of condoms they call it .........ECONOMY SIZE
Huh?
Economy size? Isn't that what you call a compact car? Obviously Family size won't work. I'm sure the good folks at the condom company don't want you to think about family when buying your prophyactics. It kind of defeats the purpose. Party size would work, but then they sound as if they condone orgies. So it begs the question. What should they call it?
These are the things that I think of when grocery shoping.
And I have proof that no good deed goes unpunished. My total came to $63 something*. I handed the nice cashier girl $70. She didn't look and typed in $80 and proceeded to give me $16 something in change. I stopped her and pointed out her mistake, not wanting her to get in trouble at the end of her shift. She thanked me and corrected it and helped me load up my eco-friendly canvas bags. I walked out of the store without my dish soap.
* $63 something will easily feed me for a week, soup, pasta, bread, peanut butter, soda, stuff like that. What it won't do is keep me in drinks. I will run out of the soda (sweetened with splenda) and propel by monday afternoon. And beer? Ha.
One of these days I'm going to get a membership to one of those mega-bulk stores and stock up on basics. My basics include: paper towels, toilet paper, soda (though they never have the kind I like) dry pasta, sundried tomatoes, propel (well it would be a basic if I had that membership) and beer. Oh yeah, and dish soap.
---Little Bird wants to know
When you go to the grocery store and buy the largest box of mac & cheese, they call it FAMILY SIZE
When you buy the largest box of crackers it's ........................FAMILY SIZE
When you buy the largest bag of chips they have dubb............PARTY SIZE
When you buy the mega box of condoms they call it .........ECONOMY SIZE
Huh?
Economy size? Isn't that what you call a compact car? Obviously Family size won't work. I'm sure the good folks at the condom company don't want you to think about family when buying your prophyactics. It kind of defeats the purpose. Party size would work, but then they sound as if they condone orgies. So it begs the question. What should they call it?
These are the things that I think of when grocery shoping.
And I have proof that no good deed goes unpunished. My total came to $63 something*. I handed the nice cashier girl $70. She didn't look and typed in $80 and proceeded to give me $16 something in change. I stopped her and pointed out her mistake, not wanting her to get in trouble at the end of her shift. She thanked me and corrected it and helped me load up my eco-friendly canvas bags. I walked out of the store without my dish soap.
* $63 something will easily feed me for a week, soup, pasta, bread, peanut butter, soda, stuff like that. What it won't do is keep me in drinks. I will run out of the soda (sweetened with splenda) and propel by monday afternoon. And beer? Ha.
One of these days I'm going to get a membership to one of those mega-bulk stores and stock up on basics. My basics include: paper towels, toilet paper, soda (though they never have the kind I like) dry pasta, sundried tomatoes, propel (well it would be a basic if I had that membership) and beer. Oh yeah, and dish soap.
---Little Bird wants to know
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
More Throat Woes
Have you ever tried to burp when you have strep? It hurts. A lot.
I am now taking meds. And have throat spray. And soup. Tea has been a help, but really that new throat would really come in handy. Failing a new throat, I'd settle for being able to sleep.
Meanwhile in other news, there is no other news. I spent the day at home. I have no news to share. I know I sound all whiney but damnit, I'm in pain!!
--Little Bird is veeeeerrrrrry sleepy
I am now taking meds. And have throat spray. And soup. Tea has been a help, but really that new throat would really come in handy. Failing a new throat, I'd settle for being able to sleep.
Meanwhile in other news, there is no other news. I spent the day at home. I have no news to share. I know I sound all whiney but damnit, I'm in pain!!
--Little Bird is veeeeerrrrrry sleepy
Monday, February 18, 2008
Cabin Fever of Sorts
It has only been one day. I have had three very short conversations via the phone today. I can't talk. I can type and write. I am craving a social outlet. Now I know how Ginger feels when her cell phone is down and she can't text. Aaaaarrrrggghhh! Oww. I want a new throat. One that doesn't hurt.
*sniff*
I have nothing all day, other than the doctors visit. I need to be able to talk. Able to, I don't have actually do it. I just want to be able to. I just don't like feeling helpless.
--Little Bird is in the market for a new throat, and some new shoes
*sniff*
I have nothing all day, other than the doctors visit. I need to be able to talk. Able to, I don't have actually do it. I just want to be able to. I just don't like feeling helpless.
--Little Bird is in the market for a new throat, and some new shoes
I Heart The Internets
The Sucky News
Al Gore "claimed" to have invented it. We use it everyday. I have started to take it for granted. Until today. I have strep. I can barely whisper. So this is how I get to talk today.
It feels like I attempted and failed to swallow a golf ball. Luckily I already had an appointment today to see my doctor. I had a whole conversation with her via paper. I had an explanation for her already written up. I had tried to anticipate what she might ask. According to her I did ok. She wrote me a scrip, and off I went. There is one slight problem. I am out of cash. And my folks, they are out of town. And the chain pharmacy* I go to won't take over the phone payment. So I am taking lots of anti-inflamatories, in the vain hopes that it at least helps the pain.
* No, the pharmacy I go to is in no way associated with the town of Perfect.
I would cry, but then that would make it all hurt even more.
The Lighter News
There was a Roller Derby match last night! And my favorite team did themselves proud. By that I mean they wiped the floor with their opponents!! Something like 63 to 12. GO FURY!!! I had a blast and came home with a hoodie. And strep apparently. If you live in a town that has a Womens Flat Track Roller Derby look it up and get thee to a match. It's a lot of fun, and the potential for blood and bodily damage is high. If you don't live in a town with a league, try to see if any trip you might already be planning coincides with a game.
Get the idea that I like it? I however, will never be a Derby Girl. You have to have health insurance to even try out. That alone excludes me. Couple that with the fact that I am clumsy to epic proportions and you have an avid fan, cheering her favorite team on to victory.
--Little Bird is whimpering in pain
Al Gore "claimed" to have invented it. We use it everyday. I have started to take it for granted. Until today. I have strep. I can barely whisper. So this is how I get to talk today.
It feels like I attempted and failed to swallow a golf ball. Luckily I already had an appointment today to see my doctor. I had a whole conversation with her via paper. I had an explanation for her already written up. I had tried to anticipate what she might ask. According to her I did ok. She wrote me a scrip, and off I went. There is one slight problem. I am out of cash. And my folks, they are out of town. And the chain pharmacy* I go to won't take over the phone payment. So I am taking lots of anti-inflamatories, in the vain hopes that it at least helps the pain.
* No, the pharmacy I go to is in no way associated with the town of Perfect.
I would cry, but then that would make it all hurt even more.
The Lighter News
There was a Roller Derby match last night! And my favorite team did themselves proud. By that I mean they wiped the floor with their opponents!! Something like 63 to 12. GO FURY!!! I had a blast and came home with a hoodie. And strep apparently. If you live in a town that has a Womens Flat Track Roller Derby look it up and get thee to a match. It's a lot of fun, and the potential for blood and bodily damage is high. If you don't live in a town with a league, try to see if any trip you might already be planning coincides with a game.
Get the idea that I like it? I however, will never be a Derby Girl. You have to have health insurance to even try out. That alone excludes me. Couple that with the fact that I am clumsy to epic proportions and you have an avid fan, cheering her favorite team on to victory.
--Little Bird is whimpering in pain
Friday, February 15, 2008
My Cookies, They Were Tossed
Let me tell you about my day. It started last night. Well, to me it was last night. To all those who have never bartended it was kinda early this morning. I got off work early. At 11:30 pm. The bar was dead. So I went around the corner to the bar that is on a major street and therefore still open. I had a few drinks, flirted outrageously with the guy I cannot have and left only when they shoved me out the door. No, they didn't really shove me, more like a gentle nudge. Anyway I'm in a cab and I ask the cab driver (very nicely, if naievly) if he would make a detour and go through the drive through at the fast food franchise that owns America. He said yes and the detour was quick and painless. I got home started to eat and got caught up in some serious text-flirting with that guy I cannot have and didn't turn off the lights and attempt sleep untill 5 am.
I woke up at 9 am not feeling all that well. Really not all that well. I got up and grabbed a juice beverage that is made by one of those companies that sounds so nice and festive. Less than 15 minutes after that my cheeseburger and fries parted company with my stomach in a route that is exactly the opposite of the one I would have been ok with. I couldn't figure out what had made this happen*. It wasn't the juice beverage (30% juice only who knows what the rest is), I don't think. There was no aspartame in the stuff. I hadn't had too much to drink, indeed far less than what it would normaly take for me and the contents of my stomach to part ways in reverse. I'm left with my late night meal at the fast food place that has NO middle men (they own every aspect of their product from the cattle that make up the burgers, the potato farms that give us the nummy fries to the paper manufacturer that makes the bags and wrappers for the food). I've shared this story with a few friends and the best that we can come up with is the food was undercooked. And I had a true case of food poisoning. I seem to be fine now. Fine enough that at 8 PM tonight I had an order of 5 pepper shrimp over rice from the Thai place. And it seems to be agreeing with me just fine.
* This was also the very first time that my eyes weren't shut for the entire proccess. Let's just say the "stuff" came out with a bit of force. And I had never seen it arc before. And I hope I never see that again. Ever.
So here it is 3:25 am and I am still awake. I was not able to get back to sleep after the "incident". And I have a newfound sympathy for my mothers cat. The one who suffers from hairballs of mammoth proportion, and always manages to have that WTF? look on her face when they strike.
--Little Bird needs her sleep.... NOW!!!
I woke up at 9 am not feeling all that well. Really not all that well. I got up and grabbed a juice beverage that is made by one of those companies that sounds so nice and festive. Less than 15 minutes after that my cheeseburger and fries parted company with my stomach in a route that is exactly the opposite of the one I would have been ok with. I couldn't figure out what had made this happen*. It wasn't the juice beverage (30% juice only who knows what the rest is), I don't think. There was no aspartame in the stuff. I hadn't had too much to drink, indeed far less than what it would normaly take for me and the contents of my stomach to part ways in reverse. I'm left with my late night meal at the fast food place that has NO middle men (they own every aspect of their product from the cattle that make up the burgers, the potato farms that give us the nummy fries to the paper manufacturer that makes the bags and wrappers for the food). I've shared this story with a few friends and the best that we can come up with is the food was undercooked. And I had a true case of food poisoning. I seem to be fine now. Fine enough that at 8 PM tonight I had an order of 5 pepper shrimp over rice from the Thai place. And it seems to be agreeing with me just fine.
* This was also the very first time that my eyes weren't shut for the entire proccess. Let's just say the "stuff" came out with a bit of force. And I had never seen it arc before. And I hope I never see that again. Ever.
So here it is 3:25 am and I am still awake. I was not able to get back to sleep after the "incident". And I have a newfound sympathy for my mothers cat. The one who suffers from hairballs of mammoth proportion, and always manages to have that WTF? look on her face when they strike.
--Little Bird needs her sleep.... NOW!!!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
One Day in February Isn't Special
This is when all of you (all one of you) finds out that I hate the up-coming non-holiday. I mean despise. Even when I WAS in a relationship, it was always sucky. One boyfriend did ok. We just didn't do a whole lot for the day. We decided to do it that way. Another boyfriend (this time the title is used loosely) argued that we should drink the cheap wine and save the good wine (the one with the heart on the lable) for a special occasion. Um. Yeah. A special occasion. So. I hate valentines day. Enough to refuse to capitalize it. I've got a crush on someone unattainable. I THOUGHT someone else was interested in me, but he hasn't called. This is after he asked for my number. You can't see it but right now, I'm pouting.
It's snowing again. Again!! I think Chicago is going to be buried under snow. They'll have to bring in hellicopters to rescue us from the rooftops. I cannot go to work as it is STILL SNOWING!!!! Grrrrr.
So this is me feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm gonna take a hot bath and wallow.
--Little Bird is snowed in, litteraly and figuratively
It's snowing again. Again!! I think Chicago is going to be buried under snow. They'll have to bring in hellicopters to rescue us from the rooftops. I cannot go to work as it is STILL SNOWING!!!! Grrrrr.
So this is me feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm gonna take a hot bath and wallow.
--Little Bird is snowed in, litteraly and figuratively
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